:rant:
-Some of the
"more memorable" swirls, scratches, marring, and RIDS, to our Corvettes' CC paint film, have incurred while we have attended Car Shows/Cruise-ins.
-Nothing is more disturbing to me than to have polished/LSP'd our vehicles (to our expectations) and observe the attendees, and their children, at the above mentioned events:
"Touching"; rubbing; hanging onto open doors/hoods/trunk-deck lids; Leaning on panels with their belt-buckles, and other adornments, banging around in order for them to: "See things better"; children being allowed to climb onto wheels and go: Whheeee!
And so on, and so on. Everybody knows what I'm talking about. :awman:
-As a reminder: I'm usually of a gentlemanly nature.
-BUT: These are just some of the scenarios that ofttimes arouses my innate
cantankerousness...Ergo: My "Red-Neck Behaviorial Patterns" (as suggested by my loved ones and "Doctors").
First:
-I'll politely ask the offenders what they consider their level of literacy might be...Can't they read the:
PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH!! placards posted so they are easily seen?? That this plea also applies to everyone in their party...Children included??
-If unable to read, do they have someone with them to interpret this unbeknownst written language??
-If that isn't possible...Then, along with a couple dozen CC's of adrenalin, my pugilistic mannerisms begins. :bash::bash::bash:
Secondly:
-(I once was trained/certified in HazMat; but, since retiring, I no longer attend the yearly, State EPA required, re-certification classes.)
-Therefore, I seek out the sponsors of these various shows/cruise-ins, to tell them of the incidents (if I'm physically able, that is) and hand them a 'written-reasons-flyer' of why others with HazMat training may have to be involved in any clean-up at the events' locations.
Third Most:
-Following is that flyer (at my expense, of course).
{Sourced, in part, from: An old bulletin board posting at college
)
HazMat Safety Warning:
-Specifically to: Whomever attempted to dispose of any evidence of fecal matter from their pants; and/or taking the initiative to learn innovative ways to discreetly hide old food product, hell-gravy, and other demonic bacteria---You failed to isolate, and didn't correctly double-bag, your particulates of viscous and biological waste!! Also...All the remains of some evil brown sludge forged in the bowels of road-kill by the Devil himself is laying upon the ground around the garbage-bins you so thoughtfully left unawares. Certainly a
death-spill sauce from "Hell-on-Earth".
-To those that may be involved in the 'garbage detail' of this venue:
There are a few garbage bins that have an odor emanating from them that reeks of a million animal corpses being super-heated from the hottest sun from Hell.
You may find that upon attempting to remove said garbage bags, you may have moments of sheer terror, and may have to overcome the bodily urge to append the hell-spawn and
empty your stomachs.
-You'll find that nothing this horrifying can adequately be written in a million years, by a million different writers, to describe the stench, and furthermore the clean-up, of such a
collection of demonic-rot-soup!
-To the HazMat Team:
If your loved ones are awakened by your strange mumblings---punctuated by moments of hideous screaming coming from within your trance-like sleep...Inform them that you're most likely not being murdered, just being haunted in your dreams by what you had witnessed earlier that evening.
____________________________________________________
Sorry to have gone this route...But...YES...That's exactly what I think of my vehicles' antagonists...I do become: A little bit on the cantankerous side, at times, I suppose.
Just kidding dear.
