A lot of bashin going on.....

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jimmyjam

jimmyjam

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I have noticed quite a bit of disrespectful post going on in some threads regarding personal opinions ending in verbal insults. It truly saddens me to come across a hot thread to discover members are at each others throats, because of difference in interpretation of a detail, products,etc... I have always bypassed other forums because of the negative comments their members kept posting. AG is the first forum I've ever joined that the members always gave a thumbs up even if the job wasn't 1A premium work, but would still edify junior members and give them hope to keep trying, and the members where there for us with answers in hand. I always check the forums on my breaks at work expecting to learn something or hear a funny/interesting thread, but recently I feel bummed by some post. I really feel like I have friends on AG, and to see disturbances bothers me. I knw we're all human and some people will rub others the wrong way but us as "Senior Members" need to start defusing the threads that trail off in the wrong direction. I thank all the members that make AG the up lifting, positive, and happy place for the rest us who look to you for advice! God Bless

Jimmy G.
 
:iagree:

Agreed! Some of the members like to pick if they believe someone has said something incorrect. There is no need to pick, just let them know in a polite way that you don't agree with what they have said.

No need to say it in a matter of fact way to prove that you are right and they are wrong, just give a polite heads up. I think that's the difference with AGO is that most members communicate that way.
 
I concour. Corey and Mark have been super mean to me :cry:

No, seriously...Does every thread have to end with I Love You? Its just not reality that everyone agrees on everything. I understand the whole "if you have nothing nice to say..." but, me personally, I would rather hear a little disagreements then robotic responses where everyone is being fake and agreeing with each other on every subject
 
Oh no, I completely agree that if we disagree, we should say so, but it should be said in a polite way. There is never any excuse to be rude if the other person simply doesn't know they're incorrect.

I can understand if the other person is stubborn then tempers may flare (like the arguement I had with a Lincoln Navigator owner at work the other day telling me how cotton towels scratch when used for drying and how microfibers leave too much moisture behind and cause wipe marks, yet his black '07 navigator was full of swirls and had many waterspots left over from his "real leather chamois" that he proaimed to be superior to my guzzler HD- I was close to losing it then.
 
There is a difference between bashing, and not blowing sunshine up everyone's you know what.

I'm not saying you have to insult someone that posts up a detail that isn't up to par, but telling them it's awesome isn't going to help them either. There needs to be some constructive criticism given or that person won't know that they need to practice more or improve in another area. I'd much rather someone tell me they see something I did wrong in a detail than everyone just say some canned response like "nice" to get their post count up and make sure everyone feels all warm and fuzzy inside. I equate it to when kids play sports these days and everyone gets trophy even if they lose.

Also when there is just totally wrong information out there, just because someone corrects that information doesn't mean they are bashing another person.
Some people on this forum need to get some thicker skin. It is the internet after all and not everyone is going to agree with eachother. no need to get all whiney and hurt anytime someone doesn't agree with you or doesn't tell you that you are the best detailer ever.


Wendell Jarvis said:
Odd timing how this was posted...this just recently happened to me.....
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Stop being such a martyr. I said something you said was moronic, i didn't attack you. You made a blanket statement about products that was not based on any facts. Get over it.
 
Spicy McHaggis said:
I equate it to when kids play sports these days and everyone gets trophy even if they lose.
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Hey, that's just wrong. But you also don't tell your kid in Little League that, yeah, he's a pretty good ball player, but he just really falls short of [insert name of Major League player here]. There's just no point in discouraging your kid because he's not as good as a pro when he's 11.

So if somebody here at AGO posts up pictures of his first detail, and he's all proud and stuff...but to you it looks like, well, his first detail, what's the point in telling him "gee, you may think that looks good, but it's really terrible compared to Todd Helme".

I really am unfamiliar with the incident(s) which led to this thread, but as with any coaching or leadership, it has to be tailored to the person and the situation, if it's going to be productive. I find that most of the Show n' Shine posts on detailing forums fall into 2 categories, the "I just got my car shiny for the first time and I'm busting" and the "I'm a pro and here's my free advertising". Not really that many that are looking for constructive criticism. So in my book I ignore the advertising and give a pat on the back to the ones that need it (although truth be told I rarely look at S n' S threads).
 
Setec Astronomy said:
Hey, that's just wrong. But you also don't tell your kid in Little League that, yeah, he's a pretty good ball player, but he just really falls short of [insert name of Major League player here]. There's just no point in discouraging your kid because he's not as good as a pro when he's 11.

So if somebody here at AGO posts up pictures of his first detail, and he's all proud and stuff...but to you it looks like, well, his first detail, what's the point in telling him "gee, you may think that looks good, but it's really terrible compared to Todd Helme".

I really am unfamiliar with the incident(s) which led to this thread, but as with any coaching or leadership, it has to be tailored to the person and the situation, if it's going to be productive. I find that most of the Show n' Shine posts on detailing forums fall into 2 categories, the "I just got my car shiny for the first time and I'm busting" and the "I'm a pro and here's my free advertising". Not really that many that are looking for constructive criticism. So in my book I ignore the advertising and give a pat on the back to the ones that need it (although truth be told I rarely look at S n' S threads).
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Err wrong, try again. I didn't say to tell a kid he isn't as good as a pro. I said you shouldn't teach a kid that everything will be ok as long as he participates. Last time I checked showing up to work every day isn't the only thing that keeps me employed. If I don't do my job well I go bye bye. That analogy was only an example, but way to pick it apart and put your own spin on it.

As far as people WANTING constructive criticism I'm sure they don't, but that goes to my point of people needing thicker skin. You aren't going to get any better if everyone just say good job or nice if there are a few problems. There should be no problem with someone saying, good job, maybe try this combo next time. Or nice detail, you might want to remember to clean the wheel wells next time. But thats not the way it is. People go crazy and think that everyone is getting insulted and get up on their high horses on this forum.

I like this forum, I really do. But it has changed an awful lot since I first started detailing...
 
Now boys havent we already learned from our wives/girlfriends....

We need to talk in "I" statements, "I feel" "I think" "I think the wheel wells might need a little more TLC"
NOT in
"You" statements like "You didnt do this" "You did this wrong" "You annoy me" "You suck at wheel wells, they are dirtier than my babys diaper"

:nomore::laughing:
 
Spicy McHaggis said:
As far as people WANTING constructive criticism I'm sure they don't, but that goes to my point of people needing thicker skin. You aren't going to get any better if everyone just say good job or nice if there are a few problems. There should be no problem with someone saying, good job, maybe try this combo next time. Or nice detail, you might want to remember to clean the wheel wells next time. But thats not the way it is. People go crazy and think that everyone is getting insulted and get up on their high horses on this forum.
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You seem to make an assumption that all members come to this forum for criticism (constructive or otherwise). I don't agree with that premise.

Spicy McHaggis said:
I like this forum, I really do. But it has changed an awful lot since I first started detailing...
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Sometimes things stay the same and your perspective changes...
 
Bottom line, we can agree to disagree but keep it civil.
 
Setec Astronomy said:
You seem to make an assumption that all members come to this forum for criticism (constructive or otherwise). I don't agree with that premise.



Sometimes things stay the same and your perspective changes...
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I don't assume people come here for any reason. What I know however is people won't improve with anything if they think they are already doing it perfectly. If you post something on the internet, expect criticism. That’s all there is to it.

Everyone just needs to calm down and be less defensive. If someone says I suck or I'm a moron it's no sweat of my back. I go one with my day just as I would have otherwise. Also if someone says "good detail, but it looks like there is still a little micro marring" that’s fine too. I'm glad that they are able to see something that I obviously wasn't able to see. In the long run that will help me become a better detailer and make more money.
 
This thread reminds me of why I decided to become active on another board. Kind of sad really. Take care everyone and I hope you all work out your issues.


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I think it is really simple, if you don't have something good to say don't say it. You don't have agree with everything but there is a grown adult polite way to say I know that is your opinion but I would think this way might be better. There is WAY too much rudeness on this forum lately and I agree. We are working to clear it up, if you see it report the post, it will NOT be tolerated. Remember we are all here to help each other, so try to respond positively or if you can't keep it to yourself. :kiss:
 
I see where you're all coming from, and everyone makes valid arguments. People do need to understand that this is the internet. We are a discussion forum and the biggest factor that I've noticed that causes drama and pointless bantering is people taking offense to something not meant to be offensive.

In text, you can't tell a persons demeanor. That usually will start most forest fires on forums. People should be conscious of what they say and how they say it, and at the same time, the reader should take forum criticism with a grain of salt and not sweat the small stuff. That's my 2 cents. As I always say, "Haters are gonna hate."
 
Spicy McHaggis said:
In the long run that will help me become a better detailer and make more money.
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You are aware that not everyone on this forum details for money (or wants to)? That would mean that those people have different objectives and goals than you do, and you should adjust your interactions accordingly, instead of simply suggesting they get "thicker skin". If there's one thing that turns me off from forums, it's bullying, but I'm confident that Meghan and the rest of the staff have it under control.
 
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