Change the way you write to persuade your visitors

[thebamboo23]

Let's say you you need to take you car to the shop for an alignment.

You search on Google for "Houston alignment specialist"

You click on the first 2 websites that show in Google:

A) peterpanmechanic.com

B) ironmanmechanic.com

Both locations are the same driving distance, both are in the same price range, and both have great reviews.

Whether you know it or not, the determining factor will be the words that you read.

The Difference
If you click on peterpanmechanic.com and go to the "alignment service" tab, you'll read this:

"We are the best Houston alignment specialists.

We can fix any make, model, or size. We use the best tools and techniques to safely and effectively align your car."

Eh, so you won't think much about it, right?

But now let's click the 'back' button and go to the alignment services tab on ironmacmechanic.com:

"If you let go of the steering wheel and your car starts moving to the right or left, you need an alignment.

If you've gone over a harsh pot hole or hit a speed bump to fast, you'll want to get your alignment checked immediately.

Your tires may be worn out a lot faster and the alignment problems could get worse"

Now tell me, from the two sites, which company would you choose to go to?

A) peterpanmechanic.com

B) ironmanmechanic.com
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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B) ironmanmechanic.com!

They related to your problems, they educated you, and you know they can fix your problems.

Peter Pan Mechanic does a great job, but based off the words on the page, you connected more with Iron Man Mechanic.

What Makes The Difference?
This is all directly related to your detailing services.

Stop writing about you and your business. No one cares about you.

The visitor that lands on your site wants to know what you will do for THEM.

If they don't read what they need, they'll click the back button and you've lost them forever. :xyxthumbs:

PS. If you want to read a more detailed and thorough article, click the link in my sig

 

[VP Mark]

Stop writing about you and your business. No one cares about you.

The visitor that lands on your site wants to know what you will do for THEM.

PS. If you want to read a more detailed and thorough article, click the link in my sig

I agree that you should not drone on about your business using tons of adjectives, however you SHOULD talk about yourself. You should have a picture of yourself and a description of who you are, and why you are qualified to serve them.

Personally, I would not be impressed by a business assuming I am so ignorant that I do not know if I need an alignment or not. Why am I searching for an alignment if I don't know what an alignment is? There is a fine line between educating your potential clients and insulting their intelligence.

Sure, not many people know what real detailing is. But for the most part, they don't really care. A well written grammatically correct website with nice pictures, good online reviews, and an easy way to be contacted is the way to go.

 

[SYMAWD]

I would NOT go to ironmanmechanic. Their blurb makes them sound like the type of shop where everyone needs an alignment whether they do or not.

 

[thebamboo23]

I agree that you should not drone on about your business using tons of adjectives, however you SHOULD talk about yourself. You should have a picture of yourself and a description of who you are, and why you are qualified to serve them.

Personally, I would not be impressed by a business assuming I am so ignorant that I do not know if I need an alignment or not. Why am I searching for an alignment if I don't know what an alignment is? There is a fine line between educating your potential clients and insulting their intelligence.

Sure, not many people know what real detailing is. But for the most part, they don't really care. A well written grammatically correct website with nice pictures, good online reviews, and an easy way to be contacted is the way to go.

I would NOT go to ironmanmechanic. Their blurb makes them sound like the type of shop where everyone needs an alignment whether they do or not.

That's the beauty of your ideal customer.

The copy doesn't resinate with you so your obviously not the target audience.

If the target audience were 17 to 35 year old females, the conversion on that would be higher.

One thing I'd like to point is not to take copywriting lightly.

It doesn't matter if you're number one on Google, or bidding the highest in Adwords, or have a customer email list of 1000.

If your copy isn't it's best, you're missing out on money

As Joe Polish says, "copywriting is the oxygen of marketing"

 

[Pureshine]

I agree that you should not drone on about your business using tons of adjectives, however you SHOULD talk about yourself. You should have a picture of yourself and a description of who you are, and why you are qualified to serve them.

Personally, I would not be impressed by a business assuming I am so ignorant that I do not know if I need an alignment or not. Why am I searching for an alignment if I don't know what an alignment is? There is a fine line between educating your potential clients and insulting their intelligence.

Sure, not many people know what real detailing is. But for the most part, they don't really care. A well written grammatically correct website with nice pictures, good online reviews, and an easy way to be contacted is the way to go.

:iagree: In detailing your reputation is everything and 20% of my new customers call me first because of my great reviews. The other 80% are word of mouth and when they call you should be able to sell your self and your services. Like Mark said you don't want to insult their intelligence in anyway if you want their business.

 

[Kengo123]

I enjoy reading your threads and blog posts, and I totally dig your intentions to bring marketing tactics to this forum and others.

That being said, it's pretty interesting seeing the responses you get from the well respected members and detailers on here and other forums. You have great info and solid writing skills, but for some reason it doesn't translate to positive feedback (at least from what I can see).

Maybe change something up a little in your copy targeted for these members here?

Bc if I'm imagining it from the view of somebody who's been detailing professionally and successfully for years, and has the technical detailing skills and dedication to run circles around most detailers, I wouldn't want to read about what I'm doing wrong, or that "nobody cares about me" from a newer member that lacks the evidence of success.

But again, I find your posts informative and enjoyable, so I say keep it coming

 

[MarkB]

Not being a professional detailed or one than has detailed for money. I tend to agree. I would definitely skip over the guy which states he's the greatest & find someone who relates to my situation. Just my opinion

 

[thebamboo23]

:iagree: In detailing your reputation is everything and 20% of my new customers call me first because of my great reviews. The other 80% are word of mouth and when they call you should be able to sell your self and your services. Like Mark said you don't want to insult their intelligence in anyway if you want their business.

I agree with you.

If you think that's all you need and are successful with that method, then keep doing it :dblthumb2:

I enjoy reading your threads and blog posts, and I totally dig your intentions to bring marketing tactics to this forum and others.

That being said, it's pretty interesting seeing the responses you get from the well respected members and detailers on here and other forums. You have great info and solid writing skills, but for some reason it doesn't translate to positive feedback (at least from what I can see).

Maybe change something up a little in your copy targeted for these members here?

Bc if I'm imagining it from the view of somebody who's been detailing professionally and successfully for years, and has the technical detailing skills and dedication to run circles around most detailers, I wouldn't want to read about what I'm doing wrong, or that "nobody cares about me" from a newer member that lacks the evidence of success.

But again, I find your posts informative and enjoyable, so I say keep it coming

Thanks for the compliment

"If you've sold to everyone, you've sold to no one"

I understand what you're saying and appreciate the feedback.

But I'm not writing for everyone.

My writing isn't going to resonate with detailers that are established and have their methods set.

And I'm completely fine with that

Not being a professional detailed or one than has detailed for money. I tend to agree. I would definitely skip over the guy which states he's the greatest & find someone who relates to my situation. Just my opinion

Exactly, that's the point of copy.

Getting into the customers head rops:

 

[VP Mark]

I enjoy reading your threads and blog posts, and I totally dig your intentions to bring marketing tactics to this forum and others.

That being said, it's pretty interesting seeing the responses you get from the well respected members and detailers on here and other forums. You have great info and solid writing skills, but for some reason it doesn't translate to positive feedback (at least from what I can see).

Maybe change something up a little in your copy targeted for these members here?

Bc if I'm imagining it from the view of somebody who's been detailing professionally and successfully for years, and has the technical detailing skills and dedication to run circles around most detailers, I wouldn't want to read about what I'm doing wrong, or that "nobody cares about me" from a newer member that lacks the evidence of success.

But again, I find your posts informative and enjoyable, so I say keep it coming

It's not the writing method, it's the advice itself. Attempting to find the most ambiguous and off the wall advice in an attempt to sound original and more enlightened than others only works when the methods are effective.

What the pros disagree with is that many of the methods portrayed are even effective or not. Often the most simple route to success in this business is the absolute hardest... which is to push through when the phone isn't ringing, keep doing excellent work, and acquire quality clients over time.

If someone has an incredibly original, never thought of marketing tactic to build a detailing business from the ground up in a very short amount of time I would be all ears, but I have not heard it yet. Ignoring market and marketing fundamentals in exchange of oddball advice only works if it works, and the last thing I want is for people starting put to get off on the wrong foot. This business is tough enough without making time consuming mistakes.

 

[thebamboo23]

It's not the writing method, it's the advice itself. Attempting to find the most ambiguous and off the wall advice in an attempt to sound original and more enlightened than others only works when the methods are effective.

Joseph Sugarman
Gary Halbert
Perry Marshall
Joe Polish
David Ogilvy
Dan Kennedy

These are copywriting legends that have been around (some are dead) for a VERY long time.

I was talking about copywriting. It's the basis of marketing.

What the pros disagree with is that many of the methods portrayed are even effective or not. Often the most simple route to success in this business is the absolute hardest... which is to push through when the phone isn't ringing, keep doing excellent work, and acquire quality clients over time.

I agree nothing is easy. I never said anything was easy.

If someone has an incredibly original, never thought of marketing tactic to build a detailing business from the ground up in a very short amount of time I would be all ears, but I have not heard it yet. Ignoring market and marketing fundamentals in exchange of oddball advice only works if it works, and the last thing I want is for people starting put to get off on the wrong foot. This business is tough enough without making time consuming mistakes.

There's no secret. There will never be a secret.

People talk about marketing and advertising but never talk real marketing.

Handing out business cards and cold calling is the hustle and bustle of the early stages and that's great.

But what if you want to expand your business? Get more clients? Hit 6 figures? etc...

I agree, starting any business is hard work.

Mark, I know you're established and have your systems set, but this is my exact point

I could tell you 4 methods right now that would increase your:
- Social media followers/fans
- Increase lifetime value of your customer
- Increase referrals
- Gain more customers

All within a 2 month span.

And it's nothing new or original. But in order for me to tell you what those are, you'd need to understand:
- Copywriting
- Email marketing
- Content marketing
- SEO
- Pay-per-click ads
- A/B testing
- Conversion optimization
- Analytics
- Sales funnel

But most people on these boards don't understand marketing to that degree and don't have the budget to hire someone to do it

 

[VP Mark]

I'm not going to get into a back and forth with you. I hope you can help some people with their business, but I disagree with many of your suggestions and ideals. I have a Bachelor's in Business and am well versed in marketing fundamentals, terminology, and practical application of said methods.

Look man, I'm not trying to rain on your parade, I just simply don't agree with a lot of the stuff you post. From now on however I am going to stay out of your threads. I wouldn't like someone stomping on my ideals so I will no longer do the same to you. I hope the best for your blog and hope there are no hard feelings.

 

[thebamboo23]

It's all good Mark.

No hard feelings whatsoever :dblthumb2:

It's always good to stir the pot Im the MAN