WE HAVE TWINS!!! but why are we so sad????

trhland

trhland

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im not sure.. cindy and me seem not right latley. so sad. but we should be happy. is it because are babies are in incubators? because there fighting? depression is normal for the moms sometimes after they give birth. we visited the twins again today and gabriellas doing good but tommy is having some issues with his breathing and temp. so the doc ordered an ultra sound and some additional tests.. i hope hes ok. but getting back tous i hope this feeling shale pass . maybe when there home and growing who knows.. but it feelsgood totype this to you guys and get this off my chest.. thank you....
 
I wish the best of luck to your family and you! I will keep you in my prayers! With god by your side everything will be okay! Just stay positive and happy as best as you can!
 
trhland said:
im not sure.. cindy and me seem not right latley. so sad. but we should be happy. is it because are babies are in incubators? because there fighting? depression is normal for the moms sometimes after they give birth. we visited the twins again today and gabriellas doing good but tommy is having some issues with his breathing and temp. so the doc ordered an ultra sound and some additional tests.. i hope hes ok. but getting back tous i hope this feeling shale pass . maybe when there home and growing who knows.. but it feelsgood totype this to you guys and get this off my chest.. thank you....
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Tom, it's probably all the stress both of you have gone thru these past weeks. Do more things together to keep your minds occupied. Go polish your truck and relieve some of the stress. It will get better with time. When you get them home you and Cindy will be so busy you won't have time to be depressed.
 
Hang in there Tom. It's a ton of stress and worry not knowing for sure. Are you guys getting your sleep? Get your sleep and do what you can to what is within your control. A couple months from now you guys will be doing good!
 
Rsurfer said:
Tom, it's probably all the stress both of you have gone thru these past weeks. Do more things together to keep your minds occupied. Go polish your truck and relieve some of the stress. It will get better with time. When you get them home you and Cindy will be so busy you won't have time to be depressed.
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i couldt agree more all we have been doing is hospital stuff baby stuff worrying . i havnt even touched any detailing stuff. but i did order some new things today . because i agree i need to do what i love and take my mind off things and do the detailing thing. this weekend in fact... i think thats what i need your so right..:dblthumb2:

thank you guys ... i know i keep saying thank you .i wish i could say more but . every thank you comes truly from my heart.....
 
Rsurfer said:
Tom, it's probably all the stress both of you have gone thru these past weeks. Do more things together to keep your minds occupied. Go polish your truck and relieve some of the stress. It will get better with time. When you get them home you and Cindy will be so busy you won't have time to be depressed.
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Tom or the truck? Only joking, trying to lighten the mood a little.

I will continue to pray for your family sir. Mr. Rsurfer drove home a very good point. Right now you and your wife need each other more than anything. Individually you may feel weak and want to give in, but together you form an unbreakable bond.
 
CEE DOG said:
Hang in there Tom. It's a ton of stress and worry not knowing for sure. Are you guys getting your sleep? Get your sleep and do what you can to what is within your control. A couple months from now you guys will be doing good!
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and alot of people saying to us ohh you guys have no idea the work your going to have!!! its like duuu iknow why dosome people feel they have to say this.. by the way none of you guys ever said this . this is just random people we run into.. but i know i shouldnt pay them any mind..
 
Tom, what are you guys doing for Samantha's birthday? It's in 5 days. Maybe planning and doing something really nice for her will help lift your mood. Cindy needs you but don't forget how much Samantha needs both of you right now, she has a brother and sister who are getting all the attention right now and she needs some of that from you too.
I'll keep the prayers coming for all of you.
 
S2K said:
Tom, what are you guys doing for Samantha's birthday? It's in 5 days. Maybe planning and doing something really nice for her will help lift your mood. Cindy needs you but don't forget how much Samantha needs both of you right now, she has a brother and sister who are getting all the attention right now and she needs some of that from you too.
I'll keep the prayers coming for all of you.
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samanthas actually been with cindys parents for this past week. basicly so cindy can rest ect. but is coming home saturday .and we feel bad because we cancelled her birthday when the doc told cindy shes going to be in the hospital for a while. but what were doing is just having our family over with cake and coffee. and my nices. keeping it small. and presents of course. origanly it was going to be a big pool party but the pool popped. so were alittle un organized to say the least. but sammy will have fun and were going totell her when the babies comehome we will have a nicer party for her maybe take her some were..
 
Hi Tom,
I am new here and read your post. I will keep you in my prayers also.
God will take care of you and your family !!!!!! And I agree that doing things thay you like, like detailing your truck etc is very good therapy.

Glenn
 
Hang in Tom and Cindy, You have the great Autogeek community pulling for you and your family. I think maybe your sadness is from frustration because it is totally out of your hands. you want to do everything you can (and you are) but you feel a little lost putting your faith in others. My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours!
 
im glad i have a nice a/g box headed my way !!! just need to see that autogeek box to pick me back up and lift my spirits!:xyxthumbs:
 
Tom you and Cindy are doing great. You 2 have been through a lot lately, the fact of having a baby, twins on top of that puts a lot of stress on parents especially the mom, add in the health concerns and its only natural to be a lil down. Now add in as you said Samanthas bday is delayed makes your mind race. The negative comments people have given will begin to replay in your mind. Remember we reap what we sow. Get rid of those negative thoughts, remeber your not a lone, you have Cindy, she has you, you have family and friends, lil Samantha I believe is going to big a huge help to you and that will add a smile, you have us here and most of all brother look up lift your eyes and your heart your Father is there just call to Him. Your strengtj will be there you will see. Gabriella and lil Tom will be home and before you know it crawling all over and then running, is it easy? Heck no but you know that. Is it rewarding? Look lil Samantha in the eyes and you tell me.
When my fiance and I had our lil girl 5 months ago it was rough, we have a 13 yr old an a 4 yr old son, no family here, no friends. So I was goin from home to hospital every 5 minutes. My fiance had health concerns after Sofia was born and that was another struggle but all is good now and my lil princess is estabilishing her role amongst her bros as the boss lol. If you ever need anything email me [email protected]. I will continue to pray for you, Cindy, Samantha, tom and Gabriella.
 
Seeing a child struggle makes every parent sad. The good thing about the twins is that they will literally grow out of the reason they are struggling which is their prematurity. At this time they should still be in the womb. In the womb they are bathed in fluid, and fluid fills their lungs. Breathing air is not easy for them as their lungs are not yet developed and prepared to breath air. With time their organs will develop more fully and before you know it they will be healthy little kids. Other parents and kids are not so lucky and have to deal with birth defects or terminal illnesses.

It's hard to wait and watch them having a hard time but take comfort in knowing they will be better soon.
 
trhland said:
and a lot of people say to us oh you guys have no idea the work your going to have!!! its like duh i know. why do some people feel they have to say this? by the way none of you guys ever said this . this is just random people we run into.. but i know i shouldn't pay them any mind..
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Hey fellow premie twin Dad, just checking in to say hi & still praying for you and your family. As for other people's comments; yeah we heard them too, in one ear out the other. It seemed like those were the ones that offered help but miraculously disappeared when help was needed. Plus for some reason those same people find it unavoidable to talk out of the @$$ instead of their mouth. Sometimes silence is the best answer.

Post partum depression is not uncommon and us husbands that love our wives will pick up on it and commiserate with them. I'm sure your wife's OB/GYN has spoken to her about PPD this time and also with your first daughter. Heck it may not even be PPD, it might just be the blues from feeling helpless until you hold them again. Our twins only had to spend a week in the hospital, but I do remember being bummed that we couldn't go home with them. (I also remember sleeping in that fold out chair which believe it or not was not that uncomfortable. I'd say it was better than a lot of hotel beds I've tossed and turned on.) We stayed until the 5th day when the hospital said "Go home and sleep in your own beds."

One of my first duties as a dad was going to a local medical supply store and renting a breast pump! I felt like I was a teenager trying to but my first beer, I'll bet my voice even cracked!!! So did you go electric or manual? My wife started calling herself "Bessie" when hooking up the pump.

Will you be busy when you finally get them home? Well duh, of course you will. Since you already have a little one you know what to expect. Will it be double the work? No, not necessarily. When the twins were both sick, yeah that was a handful, but nothing we couldn't handle. You'll do fine. Just like with the first one, you do what needs doing and work your way through. Just remember to communicate with each other, show each other love and patience and you'll be fine....tired, but fine. And don't forget that both Mommy and Daddy need their 'quiet' time, whether it's reading a book, cutting the grass or washing the car.

God Bless all of you.

Here's mine from the park a couple of weeks ago:

ry%3D480
 
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Beautiful girls, MisterPaul. That picture lets Tom and Cindy know what they are in for. They will need a double slide, just like the picture and double everything, that is very cool.
 
trhland said:
im not sure.. cindy and me seem not right latley. so sad. but we should be happy. is it because are babies are in incubators? because there fighting? depression is normal for the moms sometimes after they give birth. we visited the twins again today and gabriellas doing good but tommy is having some issues with his breathing and temp. so the doc ordered an ultra sound and some additional tests.. i hope hes ok. but getting back tous i hope this feeling shale pass . maybe when there home and growing who knows.. but it feelsgood totype this to you guys and get this off my chest.. thank you....
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Tom, I've been reading your posts and praying for you and your family. My daughter, though full term, had to stay in NICU for a while after I had her. Reading this brought all of those feelings back. I remember how empty the house seemed, and how I didn't even want to go into the nursery. I was so afraid. Afraid that she was uncomfortable or in pain from all those tubes; afraid that something would happen and I wouldn't be there; afraid something WOULD happen and I WOULD be there. And though I couldn't wait to bring her home, I was growing dependant on the monitors, so I was afraid that I wouldn't know if she needed something at home. Once home, there's no telling how many hours I sat by her crib just listening to her breathe. I kind of formed a bond with other NICU moms, but I also felt guilty because there were some babies in there who where much smaller and in worse condition than Julie. And then there was just straight-up depression. If Cindy cries or is depressed and she doesn't really know why, trust me, she really doesn't know why, and that's scary too. When your body AND mind both are so incredibly out of whack, it doesn't make for good days!! I won't even begin to go into all the fears that she has inside about herself, but feels guilty because she doesn't want to be thinking selfish thoughts while her babies need so much care. Just tell her you love her and that she is beautiful. She needs to hear that; shes not feeling very beautiful right now. In the end, you're going to make it. Be strong for your family AND yourself. You are in such an unfamiliar place right now. Pray for strength, then go out there and pretend like you've got it. Before long, you'll begin to regain your footing. Right now somebody needs to be strong, and being the man of the house, you need to be that somebody. You've got a whole army praying for you right now; it's going to be so cool reading through these threads a year from now on Tom and Gabriella's 1st birthday. If not you, at least Cindy will enjoy it. We Mommies can be sentimental like that. :grouphug:
 
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