The Laws of Parking

[ComradeGrumbles]

Having a boring day? Read and contribute to this new ultimate guide to how one should park a freshly detailed car. This writing is me avoiding work on a Sunday night... rops:

Considering the fact that all of our cars are precious, we need to have certain laws and regulations regarding how we park. The following should be held as the most important words ever spoken or written in this universe. Enjoy. :xyxthumbs:


The Laws of Parking:


1. Thou shall not take the first empty spot that presents itself.

2. Thou shall not park underneath trees.

3. Thou shall not park next to shrubbery

4. Thou shall not park next to a car with missing hubcaps

5. Respect thy neighboring car, detailed or not. This will come back as good karma. :xyxthumbs:

6. When parking between two cars, thou shall avoid the passenger door of the leftmost neighbor.

7. Thou shall never choose a closer spot at the expense of safety




Parking Spot Grading scale:

Grades 8 - 10 = Ideal spots
Grades 6 - 7 = Acceptable
Grades 4 - 5 = Late to Work
Grades 2 - 3 = Destitute
Grades 1 = Hand over the keys



Factors of grading are based on neighboring cars and your surroundings. Every parking spot starts at a 10 and either gains or loses points based on the following guidelines and characteristics of your parking "neighbors." A parking spot can never go over 10 points.


Neighbor has detailed car: + 2

Neighbor has same brand of car: + 1

Neighbor has exact same car: + 3 (Respect!)

Neighbor has hub caps: - 1 point

Neighbor is on the line: - 3 points

Neighbor has a dented door: - 2 points

Neighbor has no paint: Leave. NOW

 

[timaishu]

I agree with your rules. It sucks though for me because parking is a !@#$% at my school and I shudder everytime I have to park next to or god forbid between two cars. So far I have been lucky. I am looking forward to later in the semester when it dies down and parking becomes easier.

 

[davey g-force]

Just leave it in the garage and catch public transport! lol

Then every night, go in and admire your beautiful car :drool:

 

[mikesal57]

You forgot one Comrade...


NEVER park in the vicinity of this....

 

[jayshut11]

This is why you can find me at the back of the student parking lot at my school.

 

[FUNX650]

Ya know...
It seems like no matter what you do:
Sometimes it just ain't your day!!

{Photo courtesy of: Corvette Forum}


Bob

 

[goldendodo19]

I always love when I park at the far end of a lot and come back and someone is parked next to me. Why?!?!?!

 

[Bunky]

I always love when I park at the far end of a lot and come back and someone is parked next to me. Why?!?!?!

Safety in numbers...I park in the outlying areas but if I pick a spot I always park with at least one empty space to a nearby car.

 

[t5620]

From the point of view of the other person.. they do it mostly on purpose as it can be pretty funny to annoy someone like that..

 

[Audios S6]

Thou shalt park adjacent to a stationary object (column or wall) whenever possible and shall park as near as practical to said object providing ample space for neighborly door swing. Parking adjacent to two stationary objects does warrant baller status. Parking adjacent to three stationary objects warrants boss status. Parking between four stationary objects warrants parking god status, helicopters excluded.

When parallel parking is necessary, thou shalt forego the use of interior spaces. In lieu of interior spaces, end spaces shall be utilitize and the space to be utilized shall of of end type. Thou shalt not utilize interior, lateral or medial spaces, but may utilize anterior or posterior spaces. Thou shalt employ a spotter or other audio or visual aid to park as near as practical to the unoccupied end of the space and shall further endevour to remain within the confines of the occupied space.

 

[ComradeGrumbles]

Thou shalt park adjacent to a stationary object (column or wall) whenever possible and shall park as near as practical to said object providing ample space for neighborly door swing. Parking adjacent to two stationary objects does warrant baller status. Parking adjacent to three stationary objects warrants boss status. Parking between four stationary objects warrants parking god status, helicopters excluded.

When parallel parking is necessary, thou shalt forego the use of interior spaces. In lieu of interior spaces, end spaces shall be utilitize and the space to be utilized shall of of end type. Thou shalt not utilize interior, lateral or medial spaces, but may utilize anterior or posterior spaces. Thou shalt employ a spotter or other audio or visual aid to park as near as practical to the unoccupied end of the space and shall further endevour to remain within the confines of the occupied space.

This. Is. Amazing. lol


:dblthumb2:

 

[ComradeGrumbles]

You forgot one Comrade...


NEVER park in the vicinity of this....

The stuff of nightmares....

 

[RedXray]

Thou shalt not covet a handicap mans most awesome parking spots.

Parked slightly in the handicap loading zone on purpose, came out one day to find another car squeezed in the striped zone. No handicap placard but a nice $250 pink citation on the windshield oke: