if you look at the pictures you posted earlier in the thread, you can see where the wheels were damaged and repaired at some point, the shop didn't try to apply some touch up paint to those wheels and then hand it back with gouges in other spots.
now, if you look at those spots there, you can see how they are previously chipped areas that had been repaired at some point. they look nothing like any damage that had occurred recently, otherwise they would look similar to this
this is speaking as a person who has painted a few cars, done anything and everything there is to do as a mechanic. professionally i am an electro-mechanic in a plant right now. and personally have rebuilt more than a few cars.
you can tell from the way the damage is that they were using an impact to take the wheels off, which a lot of places do, but there is a right and wrong way to do it. whoever was doing it was hammering the trigger and allowing the lugnuts to spin freely, which is wrong, you can break them loose with the impact but you'll need to feather the trigger and finish removing by hand after they are loose. and if you are anal enough about anything you would have told them ahead of time that you want them to not use an impact wrench on the car to avoid damage. anybody "experienced" with cars like you say, would have mentioned that to avoid damage.
friends and family who have show cars with wheels that cost over 2500 a piece make sure to set clear cut rules when people work on them, the lug nuts themselves can cause a thousand dollars in damage to one wheel if taken off wrong.
the problem you have is that you honestly do not understand the difference between a refinished wheel and an oem wheel. oem wheels do not have a special paint that only manufacturers have, in fact, if you were to send your wheels to be powdercoated and matched to the factory color so you can retain the center caps. you would have a coating that wouldn't simply chip off like you see i nthe pictures, and it would be a much nicer finish in the end than a robotic sprayed urethane.
be honest, did you even explore the idea of getting them refinished, or are you letting your skepticism hold you back from asking a repair shop about how refinished wheels fare vs oem finish wheels. i live in nebraska and our salt is just as bad, you aren't the only person in the world that has been through this situation.
then educate them, your mediators aren't there to lay the facts down, they were there to keep peace between talks (somewhat), but more to just be a cheaper way to come to a conclusion, if you two worked it out between yourselves it would have cost both of you much less time and money to settle right there and have them draw papers up for a hundred bucks, instead of making time in the middle of the week to appear in court, and pay either legal fees or court fees. i'm sure you understand this though.
you aren't losing, they offered to get the wheels repaired, and you would be able to choose who and where to get them refinished. but you declined right? you shouldn't put words in someone else's mouth when you yourself already laid out what happened. they did wrong, and they offered to fix it right?
i have gone through this before, and not for some oem wheels. for wheels costing 4k for a set, you wouldn't be paying for any remounting, you wouldn't be paying for any refinishing or even a rental car if you were unable to find your own transportation. these things are all decided in the final decision. if they aren't, then you should be fighting for those things, and not for new wheels.
not trying to sound like a jerk or anything, but when someone says "it's principle" that is just slang for, "i want to make someone pay more than what they should for something that doesn't matter as much as i think it does". everybody understands what happens when someone does things as a principle, instead of just going the right way.
i'll leave these here, because i know there are wheel repair facilities all over the u.s. that can do great work, and no one would be able to tell if it was oem or repaired just by looking at it. and on the plus side, powdercoating vs oem paint, the powdercoat will last long and be tougher for salt conditions. even if you don't want powdercoat, they can still prep and paint your wheels better than a factory assembly line ever could, trust me, i repair the booths that do factory assembly line painting. the goal is get in get out, not do the absolute best job there is.