I totally understand.
I have worked for a family business for 18 years now, it can be a very difficult challenge to keep everyone happy. There are three brothers who run the business, one working alongside his wife. Let's just say I have to navigate each of those four people carefully. Having been there for so many years now, it's almost like I'm part of the family, but only when it suits them. I'm expected to work like a family member, as in work 7 days a week, but then when it comes to stuff I'm entitled to as an employee, well that is seen as an inconvenience. Like you, I think the fact I have stayed loyal and worked VERY hard over the years would speak for itself. But then there are times when certain actions are questioned, and that hurts.
Last week I ran the business for 5 days straight, the longest time the family has left the business in someone else's hands. The situation was not by choice, they were dealing with the aftermath of the floods, the damage through their parents' home extensive. I stepped up and took on full responsibility. And while the appreciation for what I did for them was well conveyed, there were still little barbs of negativity on a couple of things that I did wrong, things that I never really do because they take care of that side of the business.
Having never worked within a multi-teared organization, sometimes being part of a smaller team is great. I often hear from my sister about some of the shear silliness that flows through large organizations in regard to procedures on common sense stuff. But working for a family business is a challenge of being on the outer.