Free to a good home

Porsche Pilot

Porsche Pilot

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Free to a good home and free shipping as well: 1 wife.

So it was Monday morning and I was sitting at my desk enjoying my Peets coffee and doing something close to nothing. Mrs. Porsche Pilot calls with the following statement: "My paralegal's 15 year old son is starting a car wash business. Is it ok for him to wash the Panamera?" Luckily I had a bottle of aspirin nearby. I quickly consumed a handful hoping to slow down the blood clot that was travelling towards my brain. I went into full gorilla mode and made many inappropriate comments about this kid touching our $85k P-car...until I realized that I was on speakerphone and the kids mother was standing right there. The day got worse.

I met Mrs PP at the grocery store after work. I didnt park near her when I got there so I didnt see anything amiss. After shopping, I pushed the cart towards the car and there it was. A handprint, wife's size, squarely in the middle of the driver's window. Apparently she feels that is an appropriate way to close the car door. Then I look inside the cabin. Well, my wife has apparently found the only store in the state that sells bags of crumbs. I swear, it looked like a hamster cage in there!

This all occurred after I spent 8 hours on Sunday cleaning the car. It was gorgeous and some of my best work yet. Every nook and cranny was cleaned, Q-tips were involved, compressed air, minature vac attachments, etc. Oh it was a sight to behold.

If someone does accept the offer and takes the wife, any closet space that you have will be quickly consumed by shoes. 30 pairs of black shoes that all look the same but apparently are not all black and each one is different. Also, she is a very accomplished lawyer and you will not win any arguements. It is best to just stipulate that you were wrong and move on with your day.

I feel better for ranting and think I need a nap.
 
Finemess said:
Is she a good cook and can she split wood?
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Good cook...hmmm. I really dont know. She can unwrap a taco like nobody's business. She would not physically swing an axe and split wood. However, she would argue with it enough till the wood just gave in and split itself just to make the madness stop.
 

Porsche Pilot said:
Good cook...hmmm...
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You look pretty thin in the avatar
thinker.gif






:nomore: :laughing:



 
That was a good read....:laughing:

One thing I came to terms with long ago is "most" woman don't really care how dirty their car gets until they can't see out the windshield. Don't misunderstand me, woman LOVE a clean car but keeping it clean is not on their list of priorities.

After I complete a full detail on my wifes car she loves it. The next week it's garaged each night, the interior is spotless but then slowly but surely it deteriorates rather quickly.

Spilled coffee
Spilled cream
Newspaper and junk mail on the floor
Bags in the back seat
Bird crap on the hood and windshield.... Didn't make it to the garage this week.
Mud and sand in the Weather Tech floor protectors

You know the drill.....:dunno:
 
Hmm, what part of Florida, and does she make a good sugar momma?
 
dougaross said:
I hope your wife doesn't go on AGO
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Nah, she really has zero interest in my hobbies. She has started to enjoy flying with me though when she realized that she can mark the shopping malls on the gps when we overfly them.
 
Glimmer Twin said:
So, how was Valentine's Day at your house? :D
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It was actually good. I cooked my famous beef tenderloin and that made me forget about the days transgressions. Recipe available. Tonight we will have "the talk" about doing better to take care of the car. She's a good sport, just messy at times.
 
I have enjoyed this, from my experience, most women use the car as a purse on wheels. I know mine does.
 
You better hope she doesnt get word of this .... or she might decide to visit the local carwash to surprise you tonight !
 
Seems like you missed a perfect opportunity to teach a 15 year old how to properly wash a car. LOL
 
Great read. :xyxthumbs:

Luckily, my wife likes a clean vehicle as much as I do and she cried when her truck was creased from a hit and run. She wanted it PDR'd the very next day!

However, I have one standing rule. If she EVER takes it through a 'scratch and scrub' automatic carwash, I'll never touch her truck again. Touchless in the winter, or hand washed by me only. So far, this arrangement has worked out very well.

She parks in the very back of every parking lot, even if it is -20* outside. :xyxthumbs: At her work, the security guards have a camera centered on her truck, too. One day, they called her to tell her that there was some guy leaning against her truck in the lot. She hopped on her broom, flew out the door, and confronted the person before security could even make it to the truck. Thankfully, security diffused the situation and there were only some light scuffs to clean up. No blood, no police, no black eyes,.....

I think I have her trained pretty good with the vehicles, now I just need to work on the whole 'sugar momma' part. :laughing:

Randy
 
Alllow me to be candid: I'm 22. Would you let me touch the Panamera?

I understand your frustration, but lately I've been the one (yes I am a detailer) to leave mail in the seat, spill yogourt all over the dash, and trapse crumbs, mud and salt into our Jeep. As a full time student I simply do not expend the energy to focus on those things.

Now that you had the opportunity to vent (very important, btw) I might suggest a calm conversation to tell her how you value the appearance of cars you probably helped pay for. And maybe an apology directed towards the para. I know you didn't realize you were on speaker.

As far as always losing arguments, trust me, I know what that is like. I try to avoid arguments as much as possible, but sometimes we simply cannot agree. I guess each couple has to find their own way of dealing with that. Good luck.
 
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