"About Us" 1st or 3rd Person
- Thread starter MaxWax
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ScubaCougr
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- Oct 19, 2010
- 558
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Most of my site is written in the 3rd person. My contact page is written in the first person.
Some will say (correctly, IMO) you don't want to appear what you're not. But saying "Great Reflections Detailing works magic doesn't imply a huge staff. But (again IMO) saying "I" all over the place is boring to read and seems overly self absorbed.
Good question. Will be interesting to see what others say . . .
Some will say (correctly, IMO) you don't want to appear what you're not. But saying "Great Reflections Detailing works magic doesn't imply a huge staff. But (again IMO) saying "I" all over the place is boring to read and seems overly self absorbed.
Good question. Will be interesting to see what others say . . .
david79z28
New member
- Dec 6, 2010
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Responding just to see responses. I have done two websites. Both owners wanted different.
My thoughts, if it says "About us", I think it should be in 1st. If it says "About Company X" then it should be in 3rd.....
My thoughts, if it says "About us", I think it should be in 1st. If it says "About Company X" then it should be in 3rd.....
MaxWax
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- Sep 26, 2011
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- Thread starter
- #4
Here's what I came up with for an "About us" I'm not sure if I used "I" and "Me" too much but I didn't want to say "We" and if I said MaxWax Auto Detailing everytime, it would get boring to read. I'm trying to keep it short and sweet, on my site the about us section will be used to describe my philosophy whereas the FAQ will get into detail about my methods. (The part that in bold was something that I wasn't sure whether or not to keep, that's why I put it in bold)
I founded MaxWax Auto Detailing upon one basic principle: to offer the absolute highest quality auto detailing and paint correction service, tailored to meet the clients needs while still maintaining a reasonable price. MaxWax Auto Detailing specializes in paint correction but offers a wide variety of services ranging from a basic wash all the way to perfecting that show car finish. I believe in doing the job right the first time, every time. It is by remaining true to this simple belief that I have established the high standard and exceptional customer service that MaxWax Auto Detailing has become synonymous with.
-Max Thilen - Owner/Operator
OR
At MaxWax Auto Detailing the customer always comes first. Great care is taken to ensure every client leaves with a shiny car and a smile on their face. Auto Detailing is my craft, and like any passionate craftsman, I take pride in doing the best job on every job. To me, paint correction is an art form. Nothing but the the best materials are used and I never stop researching to find the latest greatest ways to get the job done. I believe in doing the job right the first time, every time. It is by remaining true to this simple belief that I have established the high standard and exceptional customer service that MaxWax Auto Detailing has become synonymous with.
-Max Thilen - Owner/Operator
I founded MaxWax Auto Detailing upon one basic principle: to offer the absolute highest quality auto detailing and paint correction service, tailored to meet the clients needs while still maintaining a reasonable price. MaxWax Auto Detailing specializes in paint correction but offers a wide variety of services ranging from a basic wash all the way to perfecting that show car finish. I believe in doing the job right the first time, every time. It is by remaining true to this simple belief that I have established the high standard and exceptional customer service that MaxWax Auto Detailing has become synonymous with.
-Max Thilen - Owner/Operator
OR
At MaxWax Auto Detailing the customer always comes first. Great care is taken to ensure every client leaves with a shiny car and a smile on their face. Auto Detailing is my craft, and like any passionate craftsman, I take pride in doing the best job on every job. To me, paint correction is an art form. Nothing but the the best materials are used and I never stop researching to find the latest greatest ways to get the job done. I believe in doing the job right the first time, every time. It is by remaining true to this simple belief that I have established the high standard and exceptional customer service that MaxWax Auto Detailing has become synonymous with.
-Max Thilen - Owner/Operator
I think the customer is equally important. YOU language is very powerful, I borrowed from Max and changed "the client" (someone other than me) to YOU language...
:xyxthumbs:
:xyxthumbs:
Robert8194
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- May 9, 2011
- 1,045
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Max
I prefer the first paragraph much better.
It is personal preference but "we" sounds more like a business to me. "I" sounds like the Lone ranger to me. Doesn't sound like the big time.
As far as grammatical critique, you shouldn't end a sentence with a preposition. So rephrase the last sentence so as to not end with "with". I really like the philosophy.
I prefer the first paragraph much better.
It is personal preference but "we" sounds more like a business to me. "I" sounds like the Lone ranger to me. Doesn't sound like the big time.
As far as grammatical critique, you shouldn't end a sentence with a preposition. So rephrase the last sentence so as to not end with "with". I really like the philosophy.
Jaddie
New member
- Oct 30, 2011
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Dear Max
I think Robert may mean "with which MaxWax Auto Detailing has become synonymous."
Using we instead of I probably is the better choice. My wife is hollering at me at the moment, so I don't have time to check out your site right now or offer other advice.
My son's name is Max. A good font to set the name is Futura Extra Black.
I think Robert may mean "with which MaxWax Auto Detailing has become synonymous."
Using we instead of I probably is the better choice. My wife is hollering at me at the moment, so I don't have time to check out your site right now or offer other advice.
My son's name is Max. A good font to set the name is Futura Extra Black.
AdamsImport
New member
- Feb 9, 2012
- 52
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I Actually wonder the same thing all the time too, good input about not writing "I" all the time, you get bored as a reader...and a writer.
lokichaos
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- Oct 25, 2011
- 277
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BRING IT TO YOUR ENGLISH TEACHER!! 
lol
nah, but I really like the first one better than the second, thats just me though. It feels more personal…..you know what I mean?
But I think the second one sounds more professional, and I would change a few of the words in it:
At MaxWax Auto Detailing the customer always comes first. Great care is taken to ensure every client leaves with a shiny car and a smile on their face. Auto Detailing is our craft, and like all passionate craftsman, we take pride in doing the best job on every job. To us, paint correction is an art form. Nothing but the the best materials are used and we never stop researching to find the latest greatest (maybe its just me but latest greatest sounds kinda weird...)ways to get the job done. Max Wax believes in doing the job right the first time, every time. It is by remaining true to this simple belief that I, as the founder, have established the high standard and exceptional customer service that MaxWax Auto Detailing has become synonymous with.
Just my 2 cents, I'm no English professor though :dunno:
Good luck with it either way!
lolnah, but I really like the first one better than the second, thats just me though. It feels more personal…..you know what I mean?
But I think the second one sounds more professional, and I would change a few of the words in it:
At MaxWax Auto Detailing the customer always comes first. Great care is taken to ensure every client leaves with a shiny car and a smile on their face. Auto Detailing is our craft, and like all passionate craftsman, we take pride in doing the best job on every job. To us, paint correction is an art form. Nothing but the the best materials are used and we never stop researching to find the latest greatest (maybe its just me but latest greatest sounds kinda weird...)ways to get the job done. Max Wax believes in doing the job right the first time, every time. It is by remaining true to this simple belief that I, as the founder, have established the high standard and exceptional customer service that MaxWax Auto Detailing has become synonymous with.
Just my 2 cents, I'm no English professor though :dunno:
Good luck with it either way!
art72
New member
- Feb 5, 2012
- 96
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While it maybe considered personal preference, generally when you see writer's, author's, or web designer's profiles or "About Us" page they generally do it from the 3rd party position, much like a well written resume.
However, I definitely think you're on the right track. As far as the proposition 'with' ending the statement, you could easily add;
"...MaxWax Auto Detailing has become synonymous with providing quality results to an ever expanding client base. You too can rest assured you will receive the same professional care & results.
Schedule Your Appointment Today!"
*My writing's not perfect, but I would end with 'proposing' the reader take action.
However, I definitely think you're on the right track. As far as the proposition 'with' ending the statement, you could easily add;
"...MaxWax Auto Detailing has become synonymous with providing quality results to an ever expanding client base. You too can rest assured you will receive the same professional care & results.
Schedule Your Appointment Today!"
*My writing's not perfect, but I would end with 'proposing' the reader take action.