im getting awfull frustrated

[cardaddy]

As usual the members of this forum have gone above and beyond with the responses to OP. There isn't much I can add to what Dr. Pain and Bob have said. I'm in no position to tell you how to deal with your personal life but I am a firm believer in SEPERATE accounts. That way my wife can buy all the high dollar clothing she desires and I can buy all the top of the line microfiber I need (want). I believe that not sharing money has prevented many arguments over the past 10 years. It's probably not for everyone but it works for us. We really have to try hard to find a subject worthy of an argument.

You did say you "have to try hard to find a subject worthy of an argument", that says it all brother!

But more to why I replied to your message....... "and I can buy all the top of the line microfiber I need (want)". Mine is seriously coming around to me buying wholesale now, (being a business expense and all), which also means I may just end up selling them on our detailing site.

That is best advice you will ever hear.

You should have a checking account, she should have a checking account, and you should both have a joint checking account. From there you need to do the math to figure out what PERCENTAGE of each of your incomes is required to pay all the mutual bills - rent, utilities, groceries, etc. - and the rest is your personal responsibilities - car notes, insurance, credit cards, gas money, etc. - contra from your personal accounts.

That not only makes it fair if one person's income is dramatically larger - since you both pay with the same percentage - but it also eliminates all monetary disputes because so long as you both paying you own share who cares if she blows $500 on a new dress or you drop a grand on supplies for a new hobby.

I would also suggest doing the same for saving's accounts, with a percentage donated to a joint savings account used for joint vacations and other "nest egg" type usages... but try out just utilitarian checking accounts first if you've never implemented a system like this before. And remember, arriving at the same percentage for each person is the key to this approach...

arjo.reich

Sounds like the words of a divorced man my brother. And I'd know one, as my mom, dad, his daughter, her 2 daughters, then there was me and my brother from their union and MY brother was divorced as well.

To Spiralout & arjo.reich;

That may be what worked for you guys, but 2 becoming 1 is hard to do when it's all still like you're both single! What does work, is a BUDGET. Doesn't matter if you have 1 or 101 bank accounts, you both need to know how much you have and how much you can spend. Beyond that what else is there....

Y'all don't need me to tell you the stats on the #1 cause of divorce. (MONEY) I however don't think keeping it seperate is the way. Having a seperate 'mad money' account for each and a set amount going into it out of the JOINT account is closer to fair. IMHO of course.

The thing is, one is always going to make less, and throwing equal percentages isn't an equal union. One throws 15K another 30K (based on one at 50 the other at 100) into a joint account is a sure fire way to end up at each other. I'd just rather everything goes into the joint account and BOTH get the same amount out. :dunno:

Reasoning being, even if both have the same exact job, same education and time on the job, you can BET the female will get paid less. That's just a fact of life. Not fair but true. Then the intangibles such as what a housewife should be paid. That number, (when kids are involved) based on countless studies, should be far more than most people make in a office job.

Oh well.......

Haha my fiance say I talk to much about it all the time. And then tells me I don't need more microfiber towels. I'm like you can never have enough . Plus I work alone so who else and I spose to talk to detailing about except all of you . You'll all understand lol

Yup, as I mentioned above, at least now my wife will be telling me TO buy MF towels. Can't wait to start getting a few cases in. (bet everyone I know will want some of um'.)

 

[arjo.reich]

...mine was advice given to me by an actuary buddy of mine that had been married for 35 years at the time he shared it with me. His wife would by designer original dresses for $2-3k each and he built his own kit airplane, lol.

Besides, when she leaves you, it's all hers anyways, there is no equality in this world. I'm just talking about avoiding money arguments for that brief period before that... but there's not much you can do other than grin & bear it when you live in a death penalty state. (that last part was tongue-in-cheek)

Lucky Joe,
Wannabe Detailer

Sent from my HTC DNA

 

[spiralout462]

You did say you "have to try hard to find a subject worthy of an argument", that says it all brother!

But more to why I replied to your message....... "and I can buy all the top of the line microfiber I need (want)". Mine is seriously coming around to me buying wholesale now, (being a business expense and all), which also means I may just end up selling them on our detailing site.

Makes perfect sense to me ! ! ! :dblthumb2:

 

[vegas911gts]

My girlfriend and I wash her car together. I sometimes let her help me with my car. Usually I have her wipe the windows. I don't trust her on paint and she doesn't like doing wheels. The thing she hates is how much I spend on it, but I know a lot of guys here buy way more stuff than I do. But she doesn't like that excuse so I'm on spending lockdown for the moment. I got a list of minor stuff that I really do need like a foam gun and iron x amd some better brushes. She keeps saying that I don't need more stuff. I got some stuff hidden that she would be pissed about if she knew how much it cost.

 

[cardaddy]

Besides, when she leaves you, it's all hers anyways, there is no equality in this world. ..... but there's not much you can do other than grin & bear it when you live in a death penalty state. (that last part was tongue-in-cheek)

And in that, perhaps no greater truth has been spoken! :bash:
(both before AND after tongue-n-cheek)

 

[cardaddy]

... I got some stuff hidden that she would be pissed about if she knew how much it cost.

But as long as she's your 'girlfriend' and not your WIFE, it really doesn't matter. Betcha' she spends money on stuff that you don't too... like say mani-pedi's?????? And when is the last time you dropped $50 on a bottle of makeup? Just tell her the detailing stuff is 'makeup' for the cars. :laughing:

 

[ShaunD]

All I can say is when I see threads like this I'm glad it's just me and my dog. I've been telling him we need separate accounts, but he says he can't work. Looking into that for him.LOL
Dr.Pain, great advice. Doesn't get any better than coming from Scripture. God gave us the instructions thousands of years ago and we still can't figure it all out. Man makes plans to do, God has a purpose for us to serve.

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