How to convince a wife who has NO concept of the addiction that I need more stuff?

Cabrio said:
Do NOT mention shoes - lol. Might as well dig a six foot hole for yourself first. Challenging her shoes is like challenging her need to eat and have a roof over head - haha.




Sent from my iPhone using Autogeekonline mobile app
Click to expand...

Exactly! Or clothes.

You might as well come home wasted with lipstick all over you, slap her on the ass & say "You're next, Chubby".

Suicide.
 
^^^Lol^^^

Like coming home drunk at midnight, she's wielding a broom, and you say "You still cleaning, or are you planning to fly and get me more beer?"
 
^ was at walmart with mom today and a couple were shopping together and i could here them behind the racks that went something like this...

wife (who had the shopping cart): "um, what's this"?
husband: "a few things we need".
wife: "no, put them back we don't need that".

since i didn't see him, he probably dropped his head and went to put the items back on the shelf. poor guy...
 
for the guys on here that are married... do the women in your lives have that much power? keep in mind i'm single so i wouldn't know...
 
VISITOR said:
^ was at walmart with mom today and a couple were shopping together and i could here them behind the racks that went something like this...

wife (who had the shopping cart): "um, what's this"?
husband: "a few things we need".
wife: "no, put them back we don't need that".

since i didn't see him, he probably dropped his head and went to put the items back on the shelf. poor guy...
Click to expand...

That poor, poor #######. Can't even get a box of "Wife-Away" and a six pack of Dew. :/
 
VISITOR said:
for the guys on here that are married... do the women in your lives have that much power? keep in mind i'm single so i wouldn't know...
Click to expand...

Yes. But in all honesty (in my case at least) you cherish that. I joke around, but wife is my whole life. She's my best friend, confidant, and there is not one person I trust more than her. We've been together for over 20 years.

No complaint here.
 
PaulMys said:
Yes. But in all honesty (in my case at least) you cherish that. I joke around, but wife is my whole life. She's my best friend, confidant, and there is not one person I trust more than her. We've been together for over 20 years.

No complaint here.
Click to expand...

congrats, sounds like you got lucky... ;)
 
VISITOR said:
congrats, sounds like you got lucky... ;)
Click to expand...

Oh, I went through a few before I found her. Just make sure you have the same goals/expectations for life (realistically, not "I wanna win the lottery') and you'll be fine.
 
VISITOR said:
for the guys on here that are married... do the women in your lives have that much power? keep in mind i'm single so i wouldn't know...
Click to expand...

Yep, I just order online or go to the store before/after work without her. My wife is one though that knows everything. I could store my new ... in the tire of the car (between the tire and wheel) and in 15 years she has never wanted to see in it, but the day I hide something there it will look odd and she'd want to dismount the tire to see why.
 
Don M said:
It's my own fault really. We've been together 26 years and I've never WANTED to deal with the bills, too depressing, so she has been doing them ... this is what I get for being a coward
Click to expand...

You're being a bit harsh on yourself, me thinks.

And 26yrs is nothing to snicker at. That's plenty of time to know each others quirks by now.

Your other half should be more like...well, your other half; best friend. Better than best friend - soul mate. No one person should rule over the other. That's no way to live.

I hope this is really just chit-chat with AG homies and not her way or the highway.
 
BrutalNoodle said:
You're being a bit harsh on yourself, me thinks.

And 26yrs is nothing to snicker at. That's plenty of time to know each others quirks by now.

Your other half should be more like...well, your other half; best friend. Better than best friend - soul mate. No one person should rule over the other. That's no way to live.

I hope this is really just chit-chat with AG homies and not her way or the highway.
Click to expand...



Half and half. Like I said, I raised this monster from a pup and now I have to turn it (the situation) from being a man-eater to a friendly puppy. Total honesty, I am the sole provider for a 4-person, 2-dog family, where both my kids (not really 'kids' any more, 25 & 22 years old) who are Autistic, and will never be able to leave home and a wife with a bad spine who JUST recently rehabbed HERSELF out of a wheelchair ... so money is tight with all the medical bills. As a fun fact, i have a few issues of my own, which is why I don't do the bills - it bums me out too much.

Anywho, this is a fun and interesting thread.

BTW, it was HER mother who started the "If HE spends $XXX, the YOU can spend $XXX." THAT'S what got us into trouble in the beginning of our marriage. We fixed that and now it's just the demon medical bills causing trouble.
 
PaulMys said:
I posted this somewhere on here last summer:

Just helped my wife remove her hard top & doors off of her Jeep Wrangler. As much as she loves that Jeep, and was admiring it all stripped down, she actually said to this to me: "Well, I guess washing it is out of the question now, huh?"

(Cue triumphant music)........ No, not by a longshot, babe. Went to the shed, grabbed my bucket & grit guard, then went inside to my detail bag & grabbed ONR, a bunch of MF's, two Cobra Guzzlers, And an old mitt for the wheels.

Diluted the ONR, explained the process to her as I demonstrated it on the hood, and let her go to town.

After she was done, she said: "Wow. I didn't even know there was a product like that!"

To which I replied, Neither did I until I started reading & trying new things from AutoGeek. ;)
Click to expand...

Had kind of a similar moment recently. After a long winter of both cars being totaled (dirty), took advantage of the unseasonably nice weather to 2 bucket wash both cars a couple weekends ago. Fast forward to this past weekend- while we're relaxing during little one's nap time, told my wife I was going to run out and wash her car. "Isn't it too cold out?" (~35 outside, maybe 40ish in the garage). Nope! Should be good. Knocked out a rinseless so Monday morning she was back to a nice shiny car.

Don. All I can tell you is that my wife and I very early on made a pledge to talk about whatever's bugging us. Instead of "ignoring" something and letting it be something that gets festered on and grows in mental weight, we found it's easier to have that quick conversation (even if it's uncomfortable) right away instead of having an argument later. Result? We really don't end up ever having fights, and there's more time spent being positive.

In your situation, I would just talk to her and explain how much it means to you to have your car nice (even if she doesn't feel the same way about hers). Also, what a stress reliever it is to be able to have that time spent getting it where you want it, and the pride/satisfaction you get with the final product.

You know your wife better than any of us, so hopefully you'll find a way to come to a place where you have a little more freedom to enjoy your hobby. Especially since it doesn't sound like you're being super frivolous with the rest of your spending.

Edit: Last thought- I know you mentioned money is tight, but you're not asking for a steamer or some other huge purchase. There's something to be said for having a sanity saver even if it's not technically an essential purchase.
 
Don M said:
and a wife with a bad spine who JUST recently rehabbed HERSELF out of a wheelchair
Click to expand...

Hey, I haven't been following this thread, just popped in here at the end...but great to hear your wife is out of the wheelchair!
 
I've been married to the same malevolent demon since 1980. Math is like years in a dog's life, so.. 259 years and no parole in sight. Marriage is a labyrinth of problems. Detailing addictions are among the minor problems and are easily overlooked when faced with a bigger problem. If you are having problems with that, be thankful you are not fighting the bigger problems. Make yourself happy and she'll get over it. Take her out to dinner first. It's harder to chew off a mouthful of butt after a pleasant meal.
 
It seems like everyone is joking a bit here.

Simply ask her, "Would you prefer me to spend money on alcohol, or some fancy tv that we don't need?" P.S. I don't own a TV.
Take her to an accountant, and show her that you're only using x% compared to xx% if you had another "addiction".
She also may learn a little about budgeting, seeing as she's concerned with bills. If your "bills" are an issue, then she should be working more. It doesn't take much to flip items online. Twenty to thirty minutes per day can be 5-10k more per year.That should cover any of the "bills" she's worried about.
Equal income = equal opinion on how things are spent. Have her pay her portion.

If she's old fashioned, like my wife, then turn your hobby into more of a side income. It's not too hard to turn into an LLC, and make some extra cash on the side. You might not have a large gain, but if you break even, then she has no right to complain. That's where the accountant will come into play, to explain some things to her.
I'm a firm believer in turning what you enjoy doing into something you can have an income from.


If you have to hide something you enjoy, it will eventually become less enjoyable and more of a stress.
 
I use makeup as an analogy. Not all women use it but how many makeup products do you buy and how often?

I want my car to not only look good but parts to last as long as possible and a little time every so often helps
 
Bill1234 said:
I use makeup as an analogy.
Not all women use it but how many
makeup products do you buy and
how often?

I want my car to not only look good
but parts to last as long as possible
and a little time every so often helps
Click to expand...
Bill,

I didn't know you got married:
Congratulations!


Bob
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top