im getting awfull frustrated
- Thread starter LazyGhost
- Start date
No garage. No shade. No room for my supplies so i have em stuffed in boxes that i have to drag around. Wind. Dusting. Cold. Sun. Glare. And above all, an unsupportive wife.
OK you're in on my prayer list tonight.:dblthumb2:
TH3M B0N3Z
New member
- Jan 6, 2013
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No garage. No shade. No room for my supplies so i have em stuffed in boxes that i have to drag around. Wind. Dusting. Cold. Sun. Glare. And above all, an unsupportive wife.
What is she not supporting?
- Thread starter
- #5
Thats just her way. She is just generally unsupportive in my endeavors. Its a general thing that cant be itemized.
rops:
cardaddy
New member
- Nov 20, 2012
- 3,937
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No garage. No shade. No room for my supplies so i have em stuffed in boxes that i have to drag around. Wind. Dusting. Cold. Sun. Glare. And above all, an unsupportive wife.
Well at least my supplies are all unpacked. And..... my wife decided that we're actually GOING INTO the detailing business.
Which means I'll be buying a lot MORE supplies. Im the MAN
spiralout462
New member
- Dec 14, 2012
- 1,771
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My wife and I enjoy our time together detailing. I call her the wheel and interior specialist. 
She would rather have a shiny car than a shiny necklace these days. I feel your pain LazyGhost regarding the wind and cold as I'm sure many are this time of the year. Good luck to ya.....
She would rather have a shiny car than a shiny necklace these days. I feel your pain LazyGhost regarding the wind and cold as I'm sure many are this time of the year. Good luck to ya.....
TH3M B0N3Z
New member
- Jan 6, 2013
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Thats just her way. She is just generally unsupportive in my endeavors. Its a general thing that cant be itemized.
My girlfriend really can't stand my detailing craze. Well, she's kinda 50/50 sometimes. She says I talk about it too much, then she says I spend too much time doing it. But then she'll say I do a good job and all and she's actually helped me out by using the clay bar, lol. She says that part is fun.
jgibson2980
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- Jul 16, 2012
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Haha my fiance say I talk to much about it all the time. And then tells me I don't need more microfiber towels. I'm like you can never have enough . Plus I work alone so who else and I spose to talk to detailing about except all of you . You'll all understand lol
Sent from my SPH-L710 using AG Online
Sent from my SPH-L710 using AG Online
arjo.reich
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- Feb 12, 2013
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LOL, that was me last year; nothing hurts worse than having your wife run out on you, file for divorce, cause you half your 401k on legal fees and then find out her attorney only charged her a grand after it was all said and done.
Lucky Joe,
Wannabe Detailer
Sent from my HTC DNA
Anthony@zerboautoworks
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- Nov 21, 2012
- 789
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Ouch that hurts, I feel for you brother. Well are you happier now?
Mike@DedicatedPerfection
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- Feb 26, 2011
- 12,365
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No garage. No shade. No room for my supplies so i have em stuffed in boxes that i have to drag around. Wind. Dusting. Cold. Sun. Glare. And above all, an unsupportive wife.
Eh, just run her car through the swirl o matic to make light of it. J/J
c5errr
New member
- Nov 25, 2011
- 225
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i used to store all my items in the trunk of my car
but after a while i bought porter cable polisher and LC pads and i stored them in a traveling bag in my room
and when ever i want to detail a car i carry that bag down the stairs and when someone see's me he asks (are you traveling?) 0.o
after few months my brother wanted to toss his closet so i took advantage of it and turned it into a detailing closet and put that closet in the garage and thankfully my dad was supportive and helped me out with fixing the closet after i put all my detailing collection i locked the closet because too much Curiosity in my house in fact once my dad grapped a microfiber towel and a quick detailer to detail his car engine !!
i taught him how to
my friend suffer the same thing he dont have a garage so he stores everything in his trunk
(polisher pads waxes cleaners...)
u just have to find some space in your garage or (any room near the outside where u detail) and have a closet to put your stuff
but after a while i bought porter cable polisher and LC pads and i stored them in a traveling bag in my room
and when ever i want to detail a car i carry that bag down the stairs and when someone see's me he asks (are you traveling?) 0.o
after few months my brother wanted to toss his closet so i took advantage of it and turned it into a detailing closet and put that closet in the garage and thankfully my dad was supportive and helped me out with fixing the closet after i put all my detailing collection i locked the closet because too much Curiosity in my house in fact once my dad grapped a microfiber towel and a quick detailer to detail his car engine !!
i taught him how to
my friend suffer the same thing he dont have a garage so he stores everything in his trunk
(polisher pads waxes cleaners...)
u just have to find some space in your garage or (any room near the outside where u detail) and have a closet to put your stuff
runrun411
New member
- Oct 9, 2012
- 1,789
- 0
Thats just her way. She is just generally unsupportive in my endeavors. Its a general thing that cant be itemized.
Until you start making money. Then she's your groupie. Women... go figure.
FUNX650
New member
- Dec 1, 2010
- 21,057
- 1
After going through my 3-ring binder of: Personal-notes:
The following is what I’ve been told, on occasion, by: "Managers in the the Marriage-Business":
-In order for a woman to be "The Good Wife" for her Husband…
She must, above all costs: Choose the right Man for her.
-A Woman cannot change their husband. That is:
She accepts him for who he is; has passion for him; respects him as a man;
and understands his core values and beliefs.
Conversely…When the subject matter turned to:
A Husband must choose the right Woman; he is her best friend;
he cannot change who she is, her core values or beliefs…Blah , Blah, Blah…
I believe, if my notes are indeed correct, that I may have drifted off to sleep, or something.
Also:
In the footnotes I noticed I had written this observation:
The weather and living conditions usually improves/clears-up after awhile.
I wish she would too.
-Wishes, I've discovered over the years, have a strange way of manifesting themselves.
Bob
The following is what I’ve been told, on occasion, by: "Managers in the the Marriage-Business":
-In order for a woman to be "The Good Wife" for her Husband…
She must, above all costs: Choose the right Man for her.
-A Woman cannot change their husband. That is:
She accepts him for who he is; has passion for him; respects him as a man;
and understands his core values and beliefs.
Conversely…When the subject matter turned to:
A Husband must choose the right Woman; he is her best friend;
he cannot change who she is, her core values or beliefs…Blah , Blah, Blah…
I believe, if my notes are indeed correct, that I may have drifted off to sleep, or something.
Also:
In the footnotes I noticed I had written this observation:
The weather and living conditions usually improves/clears-up after awhile.
I wish she would too.
-Wishes, I've discovered over the years, have a strange way of manifesting themselves.
Bob
Dr_Pain
New member
- Nov 28, 2012
- 2,196
- 0
This is the advice of a non-professional, so take it as it may.
I believe that if she acts the same with each endeavors you entertain then either:
1) You are acting bipolar, and have a track record of starting things and never following through on them, and after spending gobs of money and time on something, you ultimately end up "crashing and burning" the project, to just start another one. <--- it gets pretty tiring for a mate to support those constant rollercoaster failed attempts
2) She is very insecure about the fact that you are spending all your time and money on "projects" rather than her. Some women just want to be the center of your Universe, however co-dependent and pathological it may be.
There is always 2 sides to the story and I just wanted to point out an example of each, which neither may be the case for you.
It is hard enough to juggle the physical, psychological and emotional demands of a relationship, let alone combining that with children, past time, friends and family etc.... AND WORK!
My best and only advice is to have a heart to heart on the subject, not a pissing contest where one needs to be right and the other needs to concede. This, as any other major decisions in your marriage needs to be a combined effort. A true marriage is not the cohabitation of 2 single people with singular interests etc...
She may not be aware of the physical hardship you are experiencing. She may not know the frustrations of doubling and tripling your work by working out in the elements with limited resources etc.. (where soap dries on a panel or sun sensitive wax turns on etc....) And maybe she does not care to know. If that is the case, then you truly have to have a heart to heart.
My wife may not be involved in the day to day operations of my 3 businesses but she was at some point. Once she was comfortable with her level of involvement, she became subordinate to my "expertise". She trust me, not because I demand it, but because I allow her to trust me. I involve her in the mundane and the more involved decisions (including my detailing operation). At one point with this business, the same as the other two, she will blow it off with a "you know you don't need to run everything by me I trust you" and that gives me free reign to operate without strings (self imposed strings mind you).
As a business man, and a "man", it may seem like I am "sissifying" myself by asking the "subordinate" for opinion, advises and support, but this is far from the truth. It beats having to explain in the heat of an argument why I spent so many thousands of dollars on this and that. You can NEVER escape those conversations.... period!.
As for me, I would rather have those conversation preemptively/proactively, than to waste my time with an emotionally irrational person later down the road.
You are a unit.... and need to act as one. God gave you the leadership role of your household but did not give you dominion and dictatorship rights over your spouse. As the leader of your household, you need to love your wife as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25) which means that you need to sacrifice body and sole for sake of your mate, and put her physical, psychological and emotional needs first. A pity party on your circumstance is just that... Spend the same amount of time building her up as you are trying to build up your detailing operation and she will help you rather than hinder you. Then you have an ally for life rather than a constant road block. You will spend the time regardless, so use that time to build rather than argue.
Here is my thought reflected in a common say: "If mama ain't happy, nobody's happy!" To share briefly how I applied it in my life, after 5 years of conversations and rational discussions I was finally able to build my "ultimate shop", a 52x50 monster garage. I could have compromised with her for a 20x30 but I had greater needs and a vision. It took her a while to see my vision, but we now enjoy it rather than "it" being the center of any financial arguments we may have. Here is the kicker, I had the money saved 5 years ago to build it, so it was not about the money!
I believe that if she acts the same with each endeavors you entertain then either:
1) You are acting bipolar, and have a track record of starting things and never following through on them, and after spending gobs of money and time on something, you ultimately end up "crashing and burning" the project, to just start another one. <--- it gets pretty tiring for a mate to support those constant rollercoaster failed attempts
2) She is very insecure about the fact that you are spending all your time and money on "projects" rather than her. Some women just want to be the center of your Universe, however co-dependent and pathological it may be.
There is always 2 sides to the story and I just wanted to point out an example of each, which neither may be the case for you.
It is hard enough to juggle the physical, psychological and emotional demands of a relationship, let alone combining that with children, past time, friends and family etc.... AND WORK!
My best and only advice is to have a heart to heart on the subject, not a pissing contest where one needs to be right and the other needs to concede. This, as any other major decisions in your marriage needs to be a combined effort. A true marriage is not the cohabitation of 2 single people with singular interests etc...
She may not be aware of the physical hardship you are experiencing. She may not know the frustrations of doubling and tripling your work by working out in the elements with limited resources etc.. (where soap dries on a panel or sun sensitive wax turns on etc....) And maybe she does not care to know. If that is the case, then you truly have to have a heart to heart.
My wife may not be involved in the day to day operations of my 3 businesses but she was at some point. Once she was comfortable with her level of involvement, she became subordinate to my "expertise". She trust me, not because I demand it, but because I allow her to trust me. I involve her in the mundane and the more involved decisions (including my detailing operation). At one point with this business, the same as the other two, she will blow it off with a "you know you don't need to run everything by me I trust you" and that gives me free reign to operate without strings (self imposed strings mind you).
As a business man, and a "man", it may seem like I am "sissifying" myself by asking the "subordinate" for opinion, advises and support, but this is far from the truth. It beats having to explain in the heat of an argument why I spent so many thousands of dollars on this and that. You can NEVER escape those conversations.... period!.
As for me, I would rather have those conversation preemptively/proactively, than to waste my time with an emotionally irrational person later down the road.
You are a unit.... and need to act as one. God gave you the leadership role of your household but did not give you dominion and dictatorship rights over your spouse. As the leader of your household, you need to love your wife as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25) which means that you need to sacrifice body and sole for sake of your mate, and put her physical, psychological and emotional needs first. A pity party on your circumstance is just that... Spend the same amount of time building her up as you are trying to build up your detailing operation and she will help you rather than hinder you. Then you have an ally for life rather than a constant road block. You will spend the time regardless, so use that time to build rather than argue.
Here is my thought reflected in a common say: "If mama ain't happy, nobody's happy!" To share briefly how I applied it in my life, after 5 years of conversations and rational discussions I was finally able to build my "ultimate shop", a 52x50 monster garage. I could have compromised with her for a 20x30 but I had greater needs and a vision. It took her a while to see my vision, but we now enjoy it rather than "it" being the center of any financial arguments we may have. Here is the kicker, I had the money saved 5 years ago to build it, so it was not about the money!
spiralout462
New member
- Dec 14, 2012
- 1,771
- 0
As usual the members of this forum have gone above and beyond with the responses to OP. There isn't much I can add to what Dr. Pain and Bob have said.:dblthumb2: I'm in no position to tell you how to deal with your personal life but I am a firm believer in SEPERATE accounts. That way my wife can buy all the high dollar clothing she desires and I can buy all the top of the line microfiber I need (want). 
I believe that not sharing money has prevented many arguments over the past 10 years. It's probably not for everyone but it works for us. We really have to try hard to find a subject worthy of an argument.
I believe that not sharing money has prevented many arguments over the past 10 years. It's probably not for everyone but it works for us. We really have to try hard to find a subject worthy of an argument.arjo.reich
New member
- Feb 12, 2013
- 131
- 0
That is best advice you will ever hear.
You should have a checking account, she should have a checking account, and you should both have a joint checking account. From there you need to do the math to figure out what PERCENTAGE of each of your incomes is required to pay all the mutual bills - rent, utilities, groceries, etc. - and the rest is your personal responsibilities - car notes, insurance, credit cards, gas money, etc. - contra from your personal accounts.
That not only makes it fair if one person's income is dramatically larger - since you both pay with the same percentage - but it also eliminates all monetary disputes because so long as you both paying you own share who cares if she blows $500 on a new dress or you drop a grand on supplies for a new hobby.
I would also suggest doing the same for saving's accounts, with a percentage donated to a joint savings account used for joint vacations and other "nest egg" type usages... but try out just utilitarian checking accounts first if you've never implemented a system like this before. And remember, arriving at the same percentage for each person is the key to this approach...
Lucky Joe,
Wannabe Detailer
Sent from my HTC DNA
psnt1ol
New member
- Aug 8, 2012
- 892
- 0
As usual the members of this forum have gone above and beyond with the responses to OP. There isn't much I can add to what Dr. Pain and Bob have said.:dblthumb2: I'm in no position to tell you how to deal with your personal life but I am a firm believer in SEPERATE accounts. That way my wife can buy all the high dollar clothing she desires and I can buy all the top of the line microfiber I need (want).
:iagree: I learned this the hard way.
I am currently on my third Marriage. Some people collect waxes, I collect Ex-wives. Im the MAN
Metalcoffin
New member
- Feb 25, 2013
- 16
- 0
:laughing::laughing:Third time is a charm as they say!
I'm fortunate in the fact that my wife is a car girl so I can buy all the car goodies I want....if she doesn't buy them first!
We both also realize if there's things we want we both are capable of working to achieve what ever it is we desire. And as others have stated, we too have our own spending accounts, but a shared savings account that we both contribute to for our big "wants" or for emergency money.
As for the original post of the wife not being supportive, maybe try painting the bigger picture for her. Some of her animosity maybe coming from her point of view of just seeing you wasting money on car care products, not building experience and a business that can potentially be profitable as you see it.
And here's one of my philosophical quotes:
"If the grass looks greener on the other side perhaps it's because you for got to water your lawn.":cheers: