57BORNTORUN
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Ivan on vacation at detail fest with Dennis Gage.
AG Newsletter
AG Newsletter
Ivan Karstuff at home in the Ozarks
- Thread starter Fishincricket
- Start date
BucboyInPa
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That was nuts,but cool.
Fishincricket
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Thanks, glad everyone liked it! 
Mike@Top End
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Rad!
Fishincricket
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The Further Adventures of Ivan Carstuff
So I took a short break from work last week (salesmen rarely get an actual "vacation") and, when I returned, Ivan was in a very dark mood:
I know that look... It is the dark, knowing smirk that says "you're gonna LOVE this... I told em you wouldn't be happy!"
"Ivan", I said, "What's the matter bud?!? Don't tell me someone's been leaning on the cars on the showroom again?"
If looks could kill, the guy across the showroom from Ivan would be in the ICU... (S'okay, he was prolly the grubby-pawed offender anyway!)
So Ivan points out the problems, here:
"Ivan," I said, "you can't go gettin all pissy every time some fat handed mouth breather comes in here and puts a tiny little spot on the decklid or you'll..."
He stopped me mid-sentence and escorted me around the Black Diamond Tri-Coat Turbo-charged Regal and pointed, exasperatedly at the top of the passenger door panel:
Holy crap on a cracker!!
So I hopped out to the truck and grabbed my bottle or detail spray and my bottle of AquaWax (courtesy of Duragloss and AG, thanks guys!) and set to work righting all that was wrong and also giving that beautiful Buick a quick spray waxing... Results:
As I perform the "final wipe" I see Ivan over on his perch, and he's got that look again.
"What is it now, Ivan?" I queried...
His eyes locked squarely on mine and, in his most aggressive posturing and gesturing stances yet he seemed to say "Now about those scuffs and scratches on that Red ATS?"
"Ivan, I've explained this to you a hundred times.. We are using that car as an example of a bare new car, I've sold two people on a "wax job" just by having them lay their hands on the two cars and feel the differences.. Besides, we AIN'T polishing that $40k car for free.. You hear me?!?"
"But, I brought my buffer...?"
So I took a short break from work last week (salesmen rarely get an actual "vacation") and, when I returned, Ivan was in a very dark mood:
I know that look... It is the dark, knowing smirk that says "you're gonna LOVE this... I told em you wouldn't be happy!"
"Ivan", I said, "What's the matter bud?!? Don't tell me someone's been leaning on the cars on the showroom again?"
If looks could kill, the guy across the showroom from Ivan would be in the ICU... (S'okay, he was prolly the grubby-pawed offender anyway!)
So Ivan points out the problems, here:
"Ivan," I said, "you can't go gettin all pissy every time some fat handed mouth breather comes in here and puts a tiny little spot on the decklid or you'll..."
He stopped me mid-sentence and escorted me around the Black Diamond Tri-Coat Turbo-charged Regal and pointed, exasperatedly at the top of the passenger door panel:
Holy crap on a cracker!!
So I hopped out to the truck and grabbed my bottle or detail spray and my bottle of AquaWax (courtesy of Duragloss and AG, thanks guys!) and set to work righting all that was wrong and also giving that beautiful Buick a quick spray waxing... Results:
As I perform the "final wipe" I see Ivan over on his perch, and he's got that look again.
"What is it now, Ivan?" I queried...
His eyes locked squarely on mine and, in his most aggressive posturing and gesturing stances yet he seemed to say "Now about those scuffs and scratches on that Red ATS?"
"Ivan, I've explained this to you a hundred times.. We are using that car as an example of a bare new car, I've sold two people on a "wax job" just by having them lay their hands on the two cars and feel the differences.. Besides, we AIN'T polishing that $40k car for free.. You hear me?!?"
"But, I brought my buffer...?"
KBsToy
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- Jul 4, 2011
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Thanks, glad everyone liked it!
I am glad to see someone as not lost their humor. Great Post and please keep us up to date on his adventures.
DETAILED IMPRESSIONS
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Love this thread!!!!! lol
Fishincricket
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Absolutely.. If you've been following my (varied, meandering) posts then you're already aware that it'll be anything but peaceful around here now that the AutoGeek is in the house!!
rops:
Fishincricket
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Well I tried, I don't think it worked... Even made the detail guy rub Ivan's lil buffer, he's still only got the one bucket... And Ivan pretends to be deaf and dumb when he's around. lol
Actually I now firmly believe that, if our detailer (and most longtime detailers) were allowed unlimited time, funds and creative license there would be NO complaints and every vehicle would be kept in perfect condition, always.
As it is a car may sit and get a bird bomb left on it for a few, uhm, days.. Then we, in sales, rush a new Caddy through and thinks get missed.
And Ivan gets pissed.
But I've got it covered, I promised Ivan I'd come in and get this car perfect again... I tried to tell him the the detailer could do it (and he can, he has a wonderful 3M rubbing compound and Imperial Glaze that will make that hood appear to be perfect.) But that glaring look reminds me that we're handing the keys to this $40k beauty over to its new owner tomorrow morning, it's got to actually be perfect.
So it's Meg's UC and UP to the rescue after a quick claying and then I sealed it with WGDGPS3.0 just to really wow my clients... (Then got bored this AM and topped it with some souveran, lol.. I'mma nut)
Plus hand waxing it was a good workout to replace the trip to the gym I had skipped in order to make Ivan happy. He is so demanding.
Anyway, happy client, happy boss.. Oh, and a happy Ivan. And it's spring in the Ozarks, Ivan and I will have to go fishing soon!!!
(Would you believe he wouldn't go camping with me during the cold weather spell? He's a bit delicate, ain't he?)
Setec Astronomy
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- Aug 31, 2010
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Cricket, I hope the boss really was happy...I fear for your job. Did you baking soda that bird splat? How did it come out when you were done? I'm glad Caddy/GM has a metallic black again, but my timing stinks and I'm sure by the next time I buy a car it will be gone again.
BobbyG
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I just saw this and couldn't agree more!! :dblthumb2:
The Daytona brush through the passengers compartment made me laugh out loud! :laughing:
Fishincricket
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Thanks, all!
More to come....
More to come....
Fishincricket
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Episode 3: The cleaning guy has lost his mind
Yet another busy day planned, I arrived bright and early yesterday morning, only to be summoned to the floor by Mr Ivan Karstuff.
"Cricket, you and I need to talk." He said. No morning greeting, no small talk, no morning coffee... Just a stern look. Great.
"Sure, what's up Ivan?" I asked, hoping it wasn't anything major... (I do sincerely have a very busy day ahead of me)
"You're cleaning lady has lost her ever lovin mind, that's what's up!" He exclaimed and swung around violently, gesturing toward my wall o' plaques...
"We don't have a cleaning lady, Ivan.. He's a lil old man, and he IS kinda nutty.... what did he do?" I said. At first I thought maybe one was just out if alignment or something but when I began to indicate this to Ivan he became visibly perturbed and jumped down onto my office floor, kicking a plaque down off the wall as he went.
"Look at what that fool did last night!" He screamed, stomping on the October/2005 plaque...
And then I noticed it.
A greasy smudge on every single shiny plaque on my wall, all 30 some odd of them!!
Now I understood Ivan's OCD frustrations! Truly, he was beside himself... And with good reason! Sure, it was just a plaque today, and the cleaning guy meant well, but who's to say the cleaning guy won't notice a smudge on the Regal on the showroom (remembering those, we both shudder) and decide he's going to be the hero and "clean" that too?!?
So we set to work right away and got them all fixed back up.
"By the way, Cricket" Ivan mentioned, "Congratulations on your latest plaques, Salesman of the Year for the last 6 years eh? Impressive! Or at least it would be if there were more than two sales guys! Now, lets talk about making a 'do not touch' list for this cleaning guy.. Seriously, are you sure he isn't a little old woman?"
"His name is Paul, Ivan..." :eye_roll:
I finally gave in.. "Okay, okay.. Call him the cleaning lady, what do I care?!?" I said, you have to know how to chose your battles with Ivan.
Til the next adventure!!
Yet another busy day planned, I arrived bright and early yesterday morning, only to be summoned to the floor by Mr Ivan Karstuff.
"Cricket, you and I need to talk." He said. No morning greeting, no small talk, no morning coffee... Just a stern look. Great.
"Sure, what's up Ivan?" I asked, hoping it wasn't anything major... (I do sincerely have a very busy day ahead of me)
"You're cleaning lady has lost her ever lovin mind, that's what's up!" He exclaimed and swung around violently, gesturing toward my wall o' plaques...
"We don't have a cleaning lady, Ivan.. He's a lil old man, and he IS kinda nutty.... what did he do?" I said. At first I thought maybe one was just out if alignment or something but when I began to indicate this to Ivan he became visibly perturbed and jumped down onto my office floor, kicking a plaque down off the wall as he went.
"Look at what that fool did last night!" He screamed, stomping on the October/2005 plaque...
And then I noticed it.
A greasy smudge on every single shiny plaque on my wall, all 30 some odd of them!!
Now I understood Ivan's OCD frustrations! Truly, he was beside himself... And with good reason! Sure, it was just a plaque today, and the cleaning guy meant well, but who's to say the cleaning guy won't notice a smudge on the Regal on the showroom (remembering those, we both shudder) and decide he's going to be the hero and "clean" that too?!?
So we set to work right away and got them all fixed back up.
"By the way, Cricket" Ivan mentioned, "Congratulations on your latest plaques, Salesman of the Year for the last 6 years eh? Impressive! Or at least it would be if there were more than two sales guys! Now, lets talk about making a 'do not touch' list for this cleaning guy.. Seriously, are you sure he isn't a little old woman?"
"His name is Paul, Ivan..." :eye_roll:
I finally gave in.. "Okay, okay.. Call him the cleaning lady, what do I care?!?" I said, you have to know how to chose your battles with Ivan.
Til the next adventure!!