Junkman's, The Mother of All "How to Fix Your Paint for Novices" Thread!

I just had to subscribe to this forum to write the following:

A few weeks ago, gastro-challenged avian let go on the hood of my brand new black MB SLK. I knew nothing about detailing and was the LAST person interested in DIY anything. As fate would have it however, some benevolent vibe (probably the new car thing) stopped me from proceeding with my usual method consisting of a paper towel and Formula 409, Windex, Fantastic or whatever else was immediately reachable under the kitchen sink. I Googled "removing bird droppings" or some such thing, and up came a You Tube still of the Junkman...

I recall reading an article some years back on the talents of speakers. There are bad speakers, good speakers, great speakers... and a tip-top shelf reserved for a very, very, few, truly gifted ones. The article mentioning Bill Clinton (without otherwise judging him) and the earliest host of the kids' show "Blues Clues" as such gifted examples. These chosen few are blessed with a very rare ability--in the category of a phenomenon-- to speak to a large group of people and have each one of those people feeling as if they are the only one being addressed. The listener is placed in a zone of complete comfort and attention, as if transfixed. I have only just serendipitously been introduced to the Junkman's body of work, however if I am any judge, I strongly believe he sits on this top shelf. I would never, ever guess that I'd be in a situation where my eyeballs would dry out while focusing so hard on a tutorial regarding the removal of bug guts from a car finish, but they damn nearly did.

Thanks Junkman. I look forward to 2013 and my new found passion of taking car of my car. Because of you, have already placed my first order for a "plethora" of goods from AutoGeek.

FNG
 
F.N.G. said:
I just had to subscribe to this forum to write the following:

A few weeks ago, gastro-challenged avian let go on the hood of my brand new black MB SLK. I knew nothing about detailing and was the LAST person interested in DIY anything. As fate would have it however, some benevolent vibe (probably the new car thing) stopped me from proceeding with my usual method consisting of a paper towel and Formula 409, Windex, Fantastic or whatever else was immediately reachable under the kitchen sink. I Googled "removing bird droppings" or some such thing, and up came a You Tube still of the Junkman...

I recall reading an article some years back on the talents of speakers. There are bad speakers, good speakers, great speakers... and a tip-top shelf reserved for a very, very, few, truly gifted ones. The article mentioning Bill Clinton (without otherwise judging him) and the earliest host of the kids' show "Blues Clues" as such gifted examples. These chosen few are blessed with a very rare ability--in the category of a phenomenon-- to speak to a large group of people and have each one of those people feeling as if they are the only one being addressed. The listener is placed in a zone of complete comfort and attention, as if transfixed. I have only just serendipitously been introduced to the Junkman's body of work, however if I am any judge, I strongly believe he sits on this top shelf. I would never, ever guess that I'd be in a situation where my eyeballs would dry out while focusing so hard on a tutorial regarding the removal of bug guts from a car finish, but they damn nearly did.

Thanks Junkman. I look forward to 2013 and my new found passion of taking car of my car. Because of you, have already placed my first order for a "plethora" of goods from AutoGeek.

FNG
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Never really thought about the fact that he is talking to "everybody" it's true... I always just tune in like he is making a show for me.
 
F.N.G. said:
I just had to subscribe to this forum to write the following:

A few weeks ago, gastro-challenged avian let go on the hood of my brand new black MB SLK. I knew nothing about detailing and was the LAST person interested in DIY anything. As fate would have it however, some benevolent vibe (probably the new car thing) stopped me from proceeding with my usual method consisting of a paper towel and Formula 409, Windex, Fantastic or whatever else was immediately reachable under the kitchen sink. I Googled "removing bird droppings" or some such thing, and up came a You Tube still of the Junkman...

I recall reading an article some years back on the talents of speakers. There are bad speakers, good speakers, great speakers... and a tip-top shelf reserved for a very, very, few, truly gifted ones. The article mentioning Bill Clinton (without otherwise judging him) and the earliest host of the kids' show "Blues Clues" as such gifted examples. These chosen few are blessed with a very rare ability--in the category of a phenomenon-- to speak to a large group of people and have each one of those people feeling as if they are the only one being addressed. The listener is placed in a zone of complete comfort and attention, as if transfixed. I have only just serendipitously been introduced to the Junkman's body of work, however if I am any judge, I strongly believe he sits on this top shelf. I would never, ever guess that I'd be in a situation where my eyeballs would dry out while focusing so hard on a tutorial regarding the removal of bug guts from a car finish, but they damn nearly did.

Thanks Junkman. I look forward to 2013 and my new found passion of taking car of my car. Because of you, have already placed my first order for a "plethora" of goods from AutoGeek.

FNG
Click to expand...

Dude! Got a brutha' all blushin' and kickin' rocks over here! Thanks a bunch man, that made my day. :o
 
Junkman2008 said:
Dude! Got a brutha' all blushin' and kickin' rocks over here! Thanks a bunch man, that made my day. :o
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Well, well, well... I never thought the junk man could get all warm and fuzzy. That's gotta be a first. LOL
 
Junkman, my parking space at work is situated under a tree. At the end of the day, my car is covered with some sort of detritis composed of these worm-shaped deciduous things from the tree. Yesterday it rained late morning, followed by strong sun and heat. These things didn't even come off my windshield at speed. I hosed them off this morning seemingly completely, but I am wondering if there is the same urgency to remove such organic matter as there is with bug guts and bird droppings. I was thinking that the lack of gastric acids in this type of matter might render such removal less compelling than guts or the product of guts, but I'd be the last guy to take my own advice. What should I do with these?

Gracias, Mike
 
If it didn't come out of the spray gun used to paint your car, you don't want it sitting on your paint. If it required water to remove it, then it has adhered to the paint. That is NOT a good thing. You say that it left no damage behind but I think that you have not looked at your paint the right way in the right amount of light. Nothing sticks to the paint or glass without leaving something behind unless you have a real good barrier of wax on the paint.

I would see if someone wants to tade parking spaces with you, even if it meant a further walk to the front door. Or, I'd be on a midnight escapade with a chain saw! :awesome:
 
I read your repsonse and immediately went out to look at the paint with my iphone flashlight ("mag light" app- I recommend it for high power, illuminated magnification; free when I got it) and sure enough, there are indeed dull "J" "S" and "U" marks all over my paint.

Put me in the corner of the room with a dunce cap, Junk. Time for a two-bucket wash and clay. I picked up a can of Colliniite, which is the only wax my Mercedes dealer sells. Time for some of that at well.
 
F.N.G. said:
I read your repsonse and immediately went out to look at the paint with my iphone flashlight ("mag light" app- I recommend it for high power, illuminated magnification; free when I got it) and sure enough, there are indeed dull "J" "S" and "U" marks all over my paint.

Put me in the corner of the room with a dunce cap, Junk. Time for a two-bucket wash and clay. I picked up a can of Colliniite, which is the only wax my Mercedes dealer sells. Time for some of that at well.
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I figured as much. That stuff is etching its way into your clear coat and if left untreated long enough, it will eventually become permanent. Then we're talking wet sanding or worse, a paint job. Nothing sets on my paint longer than a day before it gets addressed during the winter and during the summer, it gets dressed right away. I've had to give up getting laid to deal with some foreign crap on my paint in a timely manner but the way I look at it, I can always find another woman for a LOT cheaper than another paint job.
 
Gonna go try the clay. I have this clay, made in the USA, that's a more expensive, special blend, sold by a guy up the street who gets in bulk from a secret supplier.

just kidding AJ; I didn't even know what clay was until I watched your video...

Thanks for the help.

Mike
 
Over the weekend, I had the pleasure of speaking with the 87 year old father of a guy who lives in my neighborhood. He was one of Lt. Gen. Chesty Puller's (USMC) NCOs at Camp Lejeune in the years between the end of WWII and Korea. He told me--get this Junkman--that Gen. Puller was so fastidious, he even had his orderlies clean the dirt out of the treads if his tires with toothbrushes and tooth picks.

Holy Willy's, man.
 
Doesn't surprise me. The Marine Corps has found more way to occupy your time just to make sure that your mind stays sharp. See 'junk in the bunk' inspection. Who the hell came up with that crap? An officer.
 
F.N.G. said:
He told me--get this Junkman--that Gen. Puller was so fastidious, he even had his orderlies clean the dirt out of the treads if his tires with toothbrushes and toothpicks
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I thought I was the only one who did this.
 
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