I really like the layout of the site. The above comments regarding packages etc are well thought out, so I will focus more on initial impressions.
The mission statement on the front page sets a good tone, but I think the wording is a little convoluted. Suggest tightening up the sentence to something like " My mission is to make your vehicle look like it did when it first came off the lot!" Or perhaps "better than brand new." I do like the reference to the vehicle's condition when it was "on the lot" because it brings people back to that wonderful feeling of pride they had when they first bought the car and contrasts that with a feeling that the car is not in that condition anymore. Without blatantly saying it, you are telling customers that you will restore that feeling for them about their car. You are not selling shiny paint and protection, you are selling people a feeling of satisfaction, pride, and confidence related to that vehicle.
The about us page start with you being a 20 year old entrepreneur. I would drop that entirely. People who are older than that, which will be most if not all of your customers will think of you as a kid, which connotes inexperience. Saying that you have been doing this for years counteracts that somewhat, but instantly makes one realize that this experience came to a teenager. Again reinforces the impression of inexperience, even though you are experienced, its not going to come off that way in writing.
Ditto with the entrepreneur part. You certainly are one, and that is to be applauded, but your customers may well see this as a focus on business rather than the love of cars and enthusiasm for restoring that pride and satisfaction the customer wants in relation to his/her car. Remember what you are selling. If I'm a guy with a nice car who takes pride in it, I don't want to help someone build his business, I want someone who focuses on his craft first. Your "passion" language is excellent; work with that more. People will respect someone who has passion for his craft, and who views his services as an art, not a launching point for his future monetary success. In every personal services business, you are of course selling you as the provider, but only partially. People come to you because you demonstrate skill and enthusiasm for what you do, not for your money making entrepreneurial skills. Plus it could come off like you are more interested in their money than in their cars. The whole "do what you love and the money will follow" concept is something that most people respect, probably because it doesn't work out that way for most people so they respond to it in others.
Same thing with discussing other services to be offered in the future. I like the idea, but immediately makes me focus on the fact that you can't do that now and makes me think that your business is somehow deficient or incomplete. I might not have even needed that service, but you have focused me on absence, rather than presence. If a restaurant menu listed "we don't sell steak" what do immediately think of? Steak. and that you can't have one. Even if I didn't want one when I sat down, now I think that I can't have something. (the opposite might be true if you are building a buzz for something that isn't available anywhere yet. See the Black Label thread for a perfect example).
Hope some of that was helpful, disregard anything that wasn't.
Regards
rops:
