Questions that Haunt Me

antti@561detailing

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Why does a round pizza come in a square box?


What disease did cured ham actually have?


How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?


Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?


Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway...

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?


If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?


Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!


If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?


Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?


Why did you just try singing the two songs above?


Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's
face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Why, Why, Why
do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four
billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do they use sterilized needles for 'death by lethal injection?'


Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a thread a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light
fixtures?

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
 
Uhhhh.... well its life everything can't be explained but that doesn't mean we can't research to find a better understanding
 
"Why does a round pizza come in a square box?"

This made me think and just realize this..no joke..

Good post, and thoughts!
 
I'll try my best to answer two of the above questions.

-Because you have bad breath.
-They'd rather shoot ya, than fight.

Bob
 
This has nothing to with detailing whatsoever...

But frankly I really don't care :laughing:

Some of the stuff is pretty funny.

Kamikaze pilots and helmets
(What happens if I end up surviving? I don't want to think "dang I should have wore a helmet"

Sterilized needles and lethal injection.
(Well if I gotta go I want to go clean and blood transfer disease free lol)

Going up a building and binoculars
(Sounds like a NY thing, I have never been there so wouldn't know :dunno: :)

As far as sanity
(I'm still trying to figure out the INsanity problem) :laughing:
 
This has nothing to with detailing whatsoever...

But frankly I really don't care :laughing:

Some of the stuff is pretty funny.

Kamikaze pilots and helmets
(What happens if I end up surviving? I don't want to think "dang I should have wore a helmet"

Sterilized needles and lethal injection.
(Well if I gotta go I want to go clean and blood transfer disease free lol)

Going up a building and binoculars
(Sounds like a NY thing, I have never been there so wouldn't know :dunno: :)

As far as sanity
(I'm still trying to figure out the INsanity problem) :laughing:

It is off-topic forum...isn't it? :xyxthumbs:
 
You are one sick puppy!

But, one very funny one.

Those are great...

Bill
 
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?

Always confused me


Sent from my typewriter
 
Lol, started reading and couldn't stop until the end...

I have a 2 y/o daughter who I'm raising bilingually, the Twinkle Twinkle and ABC one was awesome to my fun.

Many other, can't cite all, but thanks for this topic. Life is a bit funnier today!

Kind Regards.
 
I think a retired English teacher was bored...THIS IS GREAT!


Read all the way to the end...

This took a lot of work to put together!



1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce .

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse .

4) We must polish the Polish furniture..

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert..

7) Since there is no time like the present , he thought it was time to present the present .

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row .

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong for me to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear..

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?


Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick'?


You lovers of the English language might enjoy this.

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP.'

It's easy to understand UP , meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ?

At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ?

Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?

We call UP our friends.

And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.

We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.

At other times the little word has real special meaning.

People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.

To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special .

A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP .

We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP !

To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP , look the word UP in the dictionary.

In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.

If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used.

It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP , you may wind UP with a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP .

When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP .

When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP .

When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP .

One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP ,

for now my time is UP ,

so.......it is time to shut UP !
 
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