WE HAVE TWINS!!! but why are we so sad????

Misterpaul said:
Hey fellow premie twin Dad, just checking in to say hi & still praying for you and your family. As for other people's comments; yeah we heard them too, in one ear out the other. It seemed like those were the ones that offered help but miraculously disappeared when help was needed. Plus for some reason those same people find it unavoidable to talk out of the @$$ instead of their mouth. Sometimes silence is the best answer.

Post partum depression is not uncommon and us husbands that love our wives will pick up on it and commiserate with them. I'm sure your wife's OB/GYN has spoken to her about PPD this time and also with your first daughter. Heck it may not even be PPD, it might just be the blues from feeling helpless until you hold them again. Our twins only had to spend a week in the hospital, but I do remember being bummed that we couldn't go home with them. (I also remember sleeping in that fold out chair which believe it or not was not that uncomfortable. I'd say it was better than a lot of hotel beds I've tossed and turned on.) We stayed until the 5th day when the hospital said "Go home and sleep in your own beds."

One of my first duties as a dad was going to a local medical supply store and renting a breast pump! I felt like I was a teenager trying to but my first beer, I'll bet my voice even cracked!!! So did you go electric or manual? My wife started calling herself "Bessie" when hooking up the pump.

Will you be busy when you finally get them home? Well duh, of course you will. Since you already have a little one you know what to expect. Will it be double the work? No, not necessarily. When the twins were both sick, yeah that was a handful, but nothing we couldn't handle. You'll do fine. Just like with the first one, you do what needs doing and work your way through. Just remember to communicate with each other, show each other love and patience and you'll be fine....tired, but fine. And don't forget that both Mommy and Daddy need their 'quiet' time, whether it's reading a book, cutting the grass or washing the car.

God Bless all of you.

Here's mine from the park a couple of weeks ago:
there so cute !!!
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there so cute!!!
 
Hey Tom and Cindy! My heart breaks for you and your family. As the other AG forum members said...stress is the cause of your depression. It is hard to think about "celebrating" your daughter's birthday when you are not in a celebrating mood. You have lost a lot. Have you had the opportunity to mourn that loss? When expecting, we have a preconceived idea of what pregnancy, labor, birth, and bringing the babies home will be like. No one can be prepared for this! It is devastating! No wonder you are so sad. Take the time to recognize all that you lost. Mourn together, support each other and get through it together. You are doing the right things! Use your friends and the AG network to support you through this loss. My other suggestion is to take a day off from the hospital. I am an RN in an ICU. We tell families all the time to take one day away from the hospital. Hospitals are horribly depressing places!! It's okay to take a day off. It will make you stronger, better parents. A day with a tiny bit less stress will strengthen your immune system. You and Cindy can't afford to get ill so consider it a health issue to take the day off. Go sit in a coffee shop and eat donuts. Go to a local library (nice and cool in there) and get a movie or some books, read magazines. Go to Barnes and Noble and hang out there. Take a nap together!!! Take a day to distract yourselves from all of this. You will be better for it!
 
Maxima Mom said:
Hey Tom and Cindy! My heart breaks for you and your family. As the other AG forum members said...stress is the cause of your depression. It is hard to think about "celebrating" your daughter's birthday when you are not in a celebrating mood. You have lost a lot. Have you had the opportunity to mourn that loss? When expecting, we have a preconceived idea of what pregnancy, labor, birth, and bringing the babies home will be like. No one can be prepared for this! It is devastating! No wonder you are so sad. Take the time to recognize all that you lost. Mourn together, support each other and get through it together. You are doing the right things! Use your friends and the AG network to support you through this loss. My other suggestion is to take a day off from the hospital. I am an RN in an ICU. We tell families all the time to take one day away from the hospital. Hospitals are horribly depressing places!! It's okay to take a day off. It will make you stronger, better parents. A day with a tiny bit less stress will strengthen your immune system. You and Cindy can't afford to get ill so consider it a health issue to take the day off. Go sit in a coffee shop and eat donuts. Go to a local library (nice and cool in there) and get a movie or some books, read magazines. Go to Barnes and Noble and hang out there. Take a nap together!!! Take a day to distract yourselves from all of this. You will be better for it!
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thak your the nice words . the babies are stable but struggling. but i agree we need to take time and dosomethings to get our minds off off this.. and its in gods hands .that they grow and get better. oh and we have a nice barnes and noble near us so thats a nice relaxing idea...:xyxthumbs:thank you ...
 
Like everybody else says, you need some YOU time. Keep the faith and take care of yourselves. Your AG friends are with you in spirit, and God will take care of the things you can't.
 
vet said:
Like everybody else says, you need some YOU time. Keep the faith and take care of yourselves. Your AG friends are with you in spirit, and God will take care of the things you can't.
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:iagree:

Feel better bud :grouphug:
 
trhland said:
i like that a does of jesus.. nice!!!!
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Its the only way you will ever have true peace. Surrender your heart to Jesus and ask that his will be done and that weight your struggling with will be lifted :awesome:
 
Tom dont feel bad or sad or depressed .. you and Cindy are dealing with alot of stress. Talk to someone, friend or professional. You need to get this out and make sure Cindy is included. I think of you both daily and pray for your entire family.
 
My heart goes out to you and your wife Tom… So many conflicting emotions you two must be going through right now.

Although you may be asking yourself “why do we feel like this” take comfort in knowing it is not all that uncommon. Postpartum depression is a real thing and can be felt not only by the woman.

I do not know if you are open to this so please forgive my forwardness if you are offended but, have you guys looked into getting counseling to help you through this trying time?
 
please pray for little tommy hes not doing so great. he might need to go back on the breathing tube .. and hes not eating good. gabriellas fine. its just little tommy... we just heard this tonite.. so there watching him tighlty... thank guys .. this is a little scary for us...
 
Deep Gloss Auto Salon said:
My heart goes out to you and your wife Tom… So many conflicting emotions you two must be going through right now.

Although you may be asking yourself “why do we feel like this” take comfort in knowing it is not all that uncommon. Postpartum depression is a real thing and can be felt not only by the woman.

I do not know if you are open to this so please forgive my forwardness if you are offended but, have you guys looked into getting counseling to help you through this trying time?
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ohmy god tellme about emotions all over the place.. we feel sick. and now there saying little tommys have issues doesnt help...you guys are so great and i dontknow how i would get through this with out you guys ...
 
trhland said:
please pray for little tommy hes not doing so great. he might need to go back on the breathing tube .. and hes not eating good. gabriellas fine. its just little tommy... we just heard this tonite.. so there watching him tighlty... thank guys .. this is a little scary for us...
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I'm sorry to hear that you guys are going thru this roller coaster ride. I got to admit, since you made your first post on this subject you guys situation runs thru my mind several times each day. When they do, I take a moment to pray for you two.

I think it would be a great idea for the both of you to talk with someone.
 
Flash Gordon said:
I'm sorry to hear that you guys are going thru this roller coaster ride. I got to admit, since you made your first post on this subject you guys situation runs thru my mind several times each day. When they do, I take a moment to pray for you two.

I think it would be a great idea for the both of you to talk with someone.
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ohh please dont let us bring your day down... well i know its hard to help how u feel. and thank you. all of u guys ...

tom
 
Tom, my family's thoughts and prayers are with you. I dont post alot here, but just know we are praying for you; and you can find strength and comfort in the Lord Jesus Christ. Tom what do you have planned this weekend? I'm going to go look at a Quad-Cab F150 to detail either Saturday or the week after, you should get out and get your mind off of things.

Perhaps a guy movie like the Expendables? or a nice outing playing Putt Putt and a dinner date with the wifey?
 
Tommy's in my prayers Tom, I hope that tomorrow brings wonderful news.
 
trhland said:
thanks ... hope ur feeling better too by the way .
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dont you worry about me, focus on our forum babies. Oh yeah... time to change your sig to add our two bundle of joys. I am thinking of Samantha too !! :props:
 
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