women are like elephants

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LazyGhost

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So, the other night the ole lady had me sittin around watchin one of them sappy shows on the hallmark channel. Whilest i was sittin there thinkin about all things lazy and watchin the show, there came a point in the show where this guy is accidently late for a date. I looked over at my ole lady sittin across the room and i thought i detected the impression of detest on her face as she watched the show. I dont know for sure why i did it, it coulda been that i was caught up in the spirit of the hallmark channel, coulda been i was trying to connect with my ole lady with conversation since i was already forced to spend time with her and wanted to kill two birds with one stone, either way, i asked her this question. "Hey, did anybody ever "stand you up?" She thought about it for a few seconds and said "Yea! You did 15 years ago when we were dating! You were supoosed to come over and eat supper and called and said you were going to the casino with a friend of yours!". She then went on to tell me what she had planned to cook for supper that night, where she was standing when i placed the call, what she was wearing, the name of the friend she called to beetch about me, and what was said during that conversation.

And then i ended up sleeping on the couch. FOR SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED FIFTEEN YEARS AGO!

Last time i watch the hallmark channel. :(
 
So casinos not only take away all your money, but they get you to sleep on the couch too! :laughing:
 
I'm sorry but I could not help but laugh as I read this. 15 years later? haha
 
Funny story. Sorry that happened to you. My girl gives me the silent treatment if she's annoyed with me. It usually only lasts about an hour.
 
I have been with the same woman for the last 11 years. I was divorced twice prior to this current relationship. The following is a list of facts through my eyes and my life experience:

1. Women's memory is better than ours. Our memory is like a helicopter view of the world and their is on the ground level.

2. They are generally better liars than us and hence....they know a lie when they hear it. They don't normally act on them immediately. They tends to wait it out and let you trip yourself up.

3. We are solution givers. When a problem arise, we are first to provide a solution. Women will at times talk about a problem with no intention of coming to a resolution in the end.

4. Arguments are useless waste of time. I rather be happy than "being RIGHT". I get more sleep this way.

5. Lastly.....they are not our mothers. This is the road to hell. You have to trust me on this.
 
They NEVER forget! Never, never NEVER!

That's my discovery after 47 years of marriage.

Bill
 
psnt1ol said:
I have been with the same woman for the last 11 years. I was divorced twice prior to this current relationship. The following is a list of facts through my eyes and my life experience:

1. Women's memory is better than ours. Our memory is like a helicopter view of the world and their is on the ground level.

2. They are generally better liars than us and hence....they know a lie when they hear it. They don't normally act on them immediately. They tends to wait it out and let you trip yourself up.

3. We are solution givers. When a problem arise, we are first to provide a solution. Women will at times talk about a problem with no intention of coming to a resolution in the end.

4. Arguments are useless waste of time. I rather be happy than "being RIGHT". I get more sleep this way.

5. Lastly.....they are not our mothers. This is the road to hell. You have to trust me on this.
Click to expand...


You are very wise. :iagree:
 
Reminds me of a couple old sayings:

''There are two ways to argue with a woman; neither one of them work.''

''A man marries a woman thinking she'll never change; she does. A woman marries a man thinking she can change him; he doesn't''.
 
You need to show her these "MAN RULES" recently sent to me by a friend.


We always hear "THE RULES" from the female side, now here are the rules from the male side

These are our rules!

Please note… these are all numbered #1 on purpose!

1. Men are not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl, if its up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
• Subtle hints do not work!
• Strong hints do not work!
• Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials or half-time.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. All men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing" we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football or motor sports.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping...
 
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