Wow. What a nice thing to come home to. You guys are the best. I really mean that. What a great community this is to be a part of.
The things that I do and the people that I try to help are things that I do not so much to try and get praise and admiration however the reaction that I came home to see in this thread is certainly wonderful to read. The real deal is that I have seen many friends and acquaintances die from living life on the edge, doing a lot of the same things that I used to do and I used to question why they had to die and I got to live. I talked to many folks about this, from pastors and ministers to doctors and other people in recovery who had put together many more years of sobriety that what I have and the best answer that we could come up with was that there is a specific purpose that I am to fill, that I was spared maybe because there is something that I can be good at that would help others.
In my early days of sobriety, I had so many questions like this that nobody could really answer, my life was an absolute mess and I could really only turn to God for answers so I would pray and pray and then try to sit still and listen for the answers. I found that sitting still was not one of my strong points (it still isn't), in fact it drove me absolutely nuts to try to sit still so one day I went to Wally World and got a tin of wax and cleaned my car and put a nice coat of NXT 2.0 on it and found that when I was waxing the car a calm had come over me and I began to hear the answers to the questions that I had been asking. Well they were more thoughts and brief moments of clarity. Basically I was receiving direction as to what to do next. I put one foot in front of the other, one day at a time and eventually became the man that I am today.
The work that I do keeps me centered with a feeling that I belong and that I am fulfilling a purpose in life but as with anything, moderation is important. I have just gotten myself to a point with all of the things going on today that I am doing myself more harm that good.
I do intend on still doing a detail here and there but no production details for now. I think I'll sleep for a while and once I get well rested I'll take it from there. I do intend on sticking around this community and offering up any help where I may useful. Thanks again to all of you for such kind words and wishes of well being. TD