A Joke A Day

Bigpat

Bigpat

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Sometimes we can all use a laugh, I will kick this off please feel free to join in and add your jokes... please keep it clean and one a day so we can keep this going!!!!.....


Two olives are hanging on a branch one olive falls and hits the ground, the one on the branch says "holy cow!!! Hey man are you okay?!?" The one on the ground replies.... "OLIVEEEE"
 
imagine the olive having a british accent.

This is a good idea...things can get alittle up tight sometimes.
 
There was a king that was going on a trip so he had 20 knights guard his daughter...he put a trap to protect her "goods"...the trap would basically close and cut off anything that touched it...

well one day the king came back...he pulled down all his knights pants and only 19 of them had something missing...so the king knew he could only trust one knight...he decided to reward the knight, giving him gold and property...then the king asked if there was anything else that noble knight would like for being loyal?

The knight did not say anything...he was missing his tongue.
 
Bigpat said:
Dwayne who??
Click to expand...

Pockets @Poorboy'sWorld said:
Dwayne who?
Click to expand...

Dwayne the bathtub, I'm drowning
bathbaby.gif



Knock knock...
 
Oh Boy you guys have got Flash going now......

I'm a sucker for a good one tho




Wo's there?
 
Two Ladies Talking in Heaven
1st woman: Hi, Wanda!
2nd woman: Hi, Sylvia! How'd you die?
1st woman: I froze to death.
2nd woman: How horrible!
1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?
2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.
1st woman: So, what happened?
2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.
1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer---we'd both still be alive.
 
SkateForGirl said:
Two Ladies Talking in Heaven
1st woman: Hi, Wanda!
2nd woman: Hi, Sylvia! How'd you die?
1st woman: I froze to death.
2nd woman: How horrible!
1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?
2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.
1st woman: So, what happened?
2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.
1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer---we'd both still be alive.
Click to expand...


:laughing:
 
A dad buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.
He decides to test it at dinner.
"Son, where were you today?"
The son says "at school dad."
Robot slaps the son!
"Ok, I watched a DVD at my friend’s house!" the son says.
"What DVD?" asks the father
"Toy story."
Robot slaps the son again!
"Ok, it was a porno" cries the son.
"What!? When I was your age I didn't know what porn was" says the dad. Robot slaps the dad!
Mom laughs "HaHaHa! He's certainly your son."
Robot slaps the mom!
Awkward Silence
 
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